When I walk into a sto-ore (now)
Feels like Santa started barfin'
Trees and lights and gifts galo-ore (wow)
It's too early to be startin'
I'm like "Who set up the Chri-istmas tree
When it's barely even Ha-allowee-een?"

But it seems it's time: two-month-long December
Happens each year, why? It's an odd endeavour
To just throw lights like so when it hits November
I don't think it's right to prolong December
My brain is all no, no, no
But they're just like yeah, yeah, yeah
But I just say no (whoo!)

It's never done halfway, thou-ough (wow)
They just pile on decorations
Just got tinsel in my mou-outh (red tinsel in my mouth)
Not a very nice sensation
It's so cramped in here, it's ha-ard to breathe
Creepy reindeer are stari-in' at me-e

It just isn't right, two-month-long Decembers
Each year's sooner, right now it's just November
But you know and I know that won't last forever
Those big-wigs would like a year-long December
My brain is all no, no, no
But they're just like yeah, yeah, yeah
But I just say no (whoo!)

You know I loathe the glow of lights out of season
I don't have loathin' for the whole Christmas season (no, no, no)
I loathe the dopes who chose (yeah, yeah, yeah)
To pull this each year and (no, no, no)
There's no way, bro, for hope (yeah, yeah, yeah)
That they'll stop doin' this crap (no, no, no)
Yeah, yeah, yeah
It's just sad, it's true (no, no, no)
Can't believe

That they think we like two-month-long Decembers
Cause we don't, it's shite, ev'ry shoppin' centre
Has a load overblown of red and green splendour
It's tacky, don't like (I'm mad and sad)
Two-month-long Decembers (yes, at the same time, yeah-eah-eah-eah)
May think you don't like (no, no, no)
Two-month-long Decembers (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And you would be right (no, no, no)
I'm a worse contender (yeah, yeah, yeah)
In my homeland we don't (no, no, no)
Care 'bout Halloween, sir (yeah, yeah, yeah)
So for us it's like (no, no, no)
Three-month-long December (yeah, yeah, yeah)
My brain is all no, no, no
But they're just like yeah, yeah, yeah
But I just say no (whoo!)

Wish December
Would be one-month, then never
Would those executive jerks
Get two-month-long Decembers