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Song Parodies -> "Gluten"
Original Song Title:
"Human"
Original Performer:
Of Monsters and Men
Parody Song Title:
"Gluten"
Parody Written by:
the_conqueror_of_parodies
The Lyrics
It can be true that some folks pretend they have a food intolerance when they're just chasing a health fad. But if you think you can tell who is who, guess what? You're a dick!
I need all of you to do your part
You've been trained for this, shouldn't be so hard
Claim you're being rational, "It's just a fad, that's all!"
Know your ass is cannable, so just let it go
Leave it right out, put no gluten in (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh)
Leave it right out, don't put it in (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh)
Not a joke, you should know what goes in my kitchen (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh)
So leave it right out, put no gluten in
We've gone through drills on dealing with this
Clean the whole damn shop when someone's allergic
Say that you're just rational, "Scams are real! Not my fault!"
If true, they'd be bannable, there's no way to know
Leave it right out, put no gluten in (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh)
Leave it right out, don't put it in (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh)
You might quote-then-unquote "just know", that don't mean shit (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh)
So leave it right out, put no gluten in
Just because you're rational, sure, some folks do suck balls
But you're not infallible, best assume they'd blow
Or right out, you will be thrown
You've been trained for this, shouldn't be so hard
Claim you're being rational, "It's just a fad, that's all!"
Know your ass is cannable, so just let it go
Leave it right out, put no gluten in (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh)
Leave it right out, don't put it in (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh)
Not a joke, you should know what goes in my kitchen (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh)
So leave it right out, put no gluten in
We've gone through drills on dealing with this
Clean the whole damn shop when someone's allergic
Say that you're just rational, "Scams are real! Not my fault!"
If true, they'd be bannable, there's no way to know
Leave it right out, put no gluten in (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh)
Leave it right out, don't put it in (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh)
You might quote-then-unquote "just know", that don't mean shit (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh)
So leave it right out, put no gluten in
Just because you're rational, sure, some folks do suck balls
But you're not infallible, best assume they'd blow
Or right out, you will be thrown
Okay, how is "cannable" in the Chrome dictionary but "bannable" isn't? I've heard the phrase "bannable offense" a lot, though I'd just invented "cannable" as I was writing. Bah, I say, bah.
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