Some people playing cards have a special system
Blackjack, no-one really wants to hit 'em
Got a straight flush made of clubs, is it really luck?
I wish I knew, his wallet is stuffed

Let the dealer deal, see how this guy feels
When I hustle all his winnings from him, for real
No jokers, dope, should stop that dope
From winning this game here, I guess on him's the joke

But he's still wearin' that grin, grin, how can he still win, win?
I've been practicing, 'cing, he'll lose ev'rything, thing
Got an awesome hand, on his spades, he'll choke
He won't earn a chip, I won't let him, no

Hold on, 'scuse me, what's that look in your eye?
I ask wh-wh-why, why are you lookin' so sly?
No, this isn't right, you were supposed to cry
Then I'd walk out with a pile of your cash, this ain't right, no

What is this, what is this
Somebody please tell me what the eff this is
How did this come to pass, you can't show me up
This is nuts, throw your cards up

Boy, I'm sure that you are cheatin' today
What's that up your sleeve, what have you tucked away?
I tell you, you're screwed as, screwed, screwed
Screwed as, screwed, screwed, mate
If that's a hidden ace

Screwed as, screwed, screwed
Screwed as, screwed, screwed, mate
If that's a hidden ace

Screwed as, screwed, screwed
Screwed as, screwed, screwed, mate
If that's a hidden ace

Screwed as, screwed, screwed
Screwed as, screwed, screwed, mate
If that's a hidden ace

That isn't clever, boy, that is so low
No, you can't blame it on that stupid "yolo"
Doesn't work when you're cheating, that's loco

But I'll step back if it turns out that I'm wrong, though

I know that I may leap to a really wrong conclusion
I won't toss you out just based on an assumption
But you gotta give some proof, super solid-type proof
That your ass ain't in the wrong, wrong, uh

So please, if you would be so kind
You know I really have this thing against cheat-a-lot guys
So just, try, to prove you're right
If you would roll up your sleeves, both the left and the right

And what's this? What is this?
You don't need to tell me what the eff is this
You've got a lot of cards tucked into your cuffs
No more bluffs, because the jig's up

How 'bout that, I caught you cheatin' today
Whole deck up your sleeve, now I'll toss you away
Told you, you were screwed as, screwed, screwed
Screwed as, screwed, screwed, mate
If that's a hidden ace

Screwed as, screwed, screwed
Screwed as, screwed, screwed, mate
I found your hidden ace

Screwed as, screwed, screwed
Screwed as, screwed, screwed, mate
More than a hidden ace

Screwed as, screwed, screwed
Screwed as, screwed, screwed, mate
Whole deck, not just an ace

You thought that you could clean me out today
No, no, no, no, no, no freakin' way
No, no, no, no, no, not that dumb, mate

I stopped you unfairly winning today
Next time, you won't dare to cheat again, mate
Told you, you were screwed as, screwed, screwed
Screwed as, screwed, screwed, mate
If that's a hidden ace

Screwed as, screwed, screwed
Screwed as, screwed, screwed, mate
I found your hidden ace

That's right, Mister Napier, be on your way
Think I've heard the last of your ass today
Told you, you were screwed as, screwed, screwed
Screwed as, screwed, screwed, mate
I found your hidden ace

Screwed as, screwed, screwed
Screwed as, screwed, screwed, mate
More than a hidden ace

Screwed as, screwed, screwed
Screwed as, screwed, screwed, mate
Whole deck, not just an ace

Screwed as, screwed, screwed
Screwed as, screwed, screwed, mate
Now off with your ass, mate!