Yo

Ayo, you might think it's time for stuff to get tested
I do not mean your naughty bits infected
With who-knows-what, not what I suggested
Physical objects with which you're quite obsessive
Want to get paid, want to get paid for
Holdin' on to shite, it's what you've aimed for
Since you heard some yarns from not a great source
Small truth grain, though

Before you scurry off on your journey
Wanna make sure you take the time
To heed my warnin', things could get ugly
If you get pissed at the line:

"Surprise, it's still junk! Surprise, it's still junk!
Surprise, it's still junk! Worth jack-all, see
Surprise, it's still junk (it's worthless, apparently)!
Surprise, it's still junk (here's seven bucks, now goodbye)!
Surprise, it's still junk (just worthless, apparently)!
You should leave"

Ayo, you assume that you'll drown in the green
Just by sellin' old chairs because they're antiques
Won't be gettin' money for sure, just maybe
Little research is what you will need
"No, that's their damn job"? Keep sayin' that (ayy)
And you'll get way more than a facial slap (ayy)
You want for hurtin', a major twat (ayy)
Takes time to sort through stuff, don't waste all that
Do your bit and don't be a twit
Have a reason you think your shit
Will fetch many dollars in one trade
Beyond "it collects dust all day"
Don't want your whole plan to go
Just "drag your stuff right up to those dudes
Treat them like shit 'cause you assume
That you'll be set for all time" like a douche, kyuh (ooh-ooh-ooh)

No, that's not honest, I kinda want it
I love that schadenfreude high
Only not lovin' what will be comin'
Your outrage made at the line:

"Surprise, it's still junk! Surprise, it's still junk!
Surprise, it's still junk! Worth jack-all, see
Surprise, it's still junk (your trip was a waste, clearly)!
Surprise, it's still junk (here's your five bucks, now goodbye)!
Surprise, it's still junk (your attitude stinks, clearly)!
You should leave"

I'm just bein' honest, yeah-ee-yeah
At your hyped-up nonsense, yeah-ee-yeah
So convinced you'll end up wealthy
From your old furniture so smelly
I'm not gonna stop it, yeah-ee-yeah
You're already parkin', yeah-ee-yeah
Thought got in your head, so sticky
Here with the popcorn for when they scream:

"Surprise, it's still junk! Surprise, it's still junk!
Surprise, it's still junk! Worth jack-all, see
Surprise, it's still junk (sir, don't react violently)!
Surprise, it's still junk (take your three bucks, say goodbye)!
Surprise, it's still junk (rant and rave, just quietly)!
You should leave"

I warned you, just dismissed me
As a "hater", you'd be right
I hate dumb get-rich-quick schemes
Except their collapse, feels nice