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Song Parodies -> "Steely Dagger"

Original Song Title:

"Anaconda"

Original Performer:

Nicki Minaj

Parody Song Title:

"Steely Dagger"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2014 self-challenge. GOD, I hate this song. Hate, hate, double hate, LOATHE ENTIRELY. Turns Nicki Minaj from a ferocious fire-spitter into the kind of ditz who gets shanked 10 minutes into a slasher film. So why not write a parody from that perspective?
My steely dagger don't, my steely dagger don't
My steely dagger don't want none unless you're that dumb, hun

Foiled ploy by toys I tripped on, can't avoid
Th-th-that big, meanie slasher, I'm a little annoyed
Wh-wh-what a stupid, ugly dork, in his attempts at slashin'
S-Such an asshole, he just caused me to break a nail, can't stand it
He won't kill, kill, kill
Me, cause I will ditch his ass at the mill
These six-inch heels hurt, got a runnin' quota to fill
I-I-I'm scared as hell cause I hate goin' up these hills
This guy's a dumb shit, h-h-h-h-h-he won't stay (hey) here, no way (hey)
I can tell his throat's scratchy as hell (hey)
So he won't follow me to this dusty mill (hey)
May be on top of the hill, tall and phallic, but I'll chill (hey)
He won't agitate his ill throat just so he can come and kill (hey)
S-S-Sure it may be my only hope that I won't end up stabbed (hey)
Closed the door with a loud wham, someone's knockin', I'll check that, like (hey)
Dumb-d-d-dumb-dumb-d-d-dumb-dumb (hey, hey)

My steely dagger don't, my steely dagger don't
My steely dagger don't want none unless you're that dumb, hun
Oh my word (damn), look at this news (damn)
Oh my word (damn), look at this news (damn)
Oh-oh-oh-oh my word (damn), look at this news (damn)
Look at this news (damn), look at, look at, look at, look at this news

Thi-thi-thi-thi-this weird-ass psycho, he's got strength like a rhino
Thi-thi-think he might have the power to turn me into gyros
He-he-h-h-he won't see me squattin' behind this busted silo
Even with those holes, won't see me playin' on my iPhone
Run away, way, way?
In my sweet hidin' spot, I'm gonna stay
Call my boyfriend, let innuendos spray
Don't say I don't have my priorities straight
I'm not a dumb shit, h-h-h-h-h-he won't stay (hey) here, no way (hey)
I can tell that he's bored as all hell (hey)
I'm gonna mock him, sure that that'll end well (hey)
Gonna tell him that he smells like an old run-down hotel (hey)
His brain's slower than a snail, sure that even if I yell (hey)
Th-th-that he's super dopey, he won't even be real mad (hey)
Think I'll walk around and slap him 'cross the face like that, like (hey)
Dumb-d-d-dumb-dumb-d-d-dumb-dumb (hey, hey)

My steely dagger don't, my steely dagger don't
My steely dagger don't want none unless you're that dumb, hun
Oh my word (damn), look at this news (damn)
Oh my word (damn), look at this news (damn)
Oh-oh-oh-oh my word (damn), look at this news (damn)
Look at this news (damn), look at, look at, look at, look at this news

A serial killer by the name of Jack
A serial killer by the name of Jack
A serial killer by the name of Jack
Oh my word, look at this news

My steely dagger don't, my steely dagger don't
My steely dagger don't want none unless you're that dumb, hun
Do-do-don't, my steely dagger don't, don't, don't
Do-do-do-do-don't want none unless you're that dumb, hun
Oh my word (damn), look at this news (damn) (a serial killer by the name of Jack)
Oh my word (damn), look at this news (damn) (a serial killer by the name of Jack)
Oh-oh-oh-oh my word (damn), look at this news (damn) (a serial killer by the name of Jack)
Look at this news (oh my word, damn), look at, look at, look at, look at this news

Yeah, he won't kill my ass, hahahahahahahaha
Yeah, I'm not a silly dimwit who'll just get stabbed by some slasher nut
I said: I won't get stabbed, you dimwit, by some nut
May look like a dimwit, may act like a dimwit, fair enough
But you won't see my ass gettin' stabbed, dimwit, by some Michael Kreuger schlub
Up yours if you call me "dipshit", what? Kyuh
Hahahaha, aaaahhhh, RRRRRR, kyuh
Yeah, I think I just got stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, kyuh
Come on
Damn
Damn
Hey
Hey
Hey

"Steely Dagger" contains samples of "Ripper Named Jack" as written by the_conqueror_of_parodies a.k.a. ME.

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Total Votes: 4

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