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Song Parodies -> "Won't Buy Your Junk"

Original Song Title:

"Pound the Alarm"

Original Performer:

Nicki Minaj

Parody Song Title:

"Won't Buy Your Junk"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2012 self-challenge. Door-to-door salesmen...aren't they annoying?
Oh, oh, oh-oh
Another assho-ole is at my doo-oor
They're tryna sell stu-uff, which I abho-or
Told you that I don't want it, don't want it
Piss off, don't want it, so pipe right down (uh)

Yo, what I gotta do to show these guys that I hate them?
I say "I'm busy", they say "Well, that's great, then"
Sleazy, cheesy, "makes life easy", uh
I said I don't want it, like my hair greasy
Leave me, leave me alone now, dude
I'm not buyin' your shit, don't want floaty shoes
Piss off, you keep talkin' like I care about
Anythin' more than "lettin' hot air out"
You speak twaddle, shit, bollocks, muzzle
That's what you need, solved puzzle, hey
Lot of shit, naught but trouble
Look, man, your pitch ain't subtle, just go
Stupid salesman guy

Oh, oh, oh-oh
I hate these assho-oles outside my doo-oor
Each day I get a-around twenty-fou-our
I said that I don't want it, don't want it
Rack off, don't want it, leave me right now

Won't buy your junk
Don't want your junk

Don't need your green windows, alright? Right
Your cheap insurance plan is bogus
I can see straight through all your lies, lies
Won't be convincin' me, because you're hopeless
Want you out of my sight, sight
Bug somebody else with your shite, shite, oh-oh-oh
Stupid salesman guy

Oh, oh, oh-oh
Sick of these assho-oles outside my doo-oor
This shouldn't be a-a damn daily cho-ore
Told you that I don't want it, don't want it
Piss off, don't want it, leave me right now

Won't buy your junk
Don't want your junk

It's junk
All junk
Real junk
Plain junk

Oh, oh, oh-oh
I've got more assho-oles outside my doo-oor
Normally one o-or two, now a hoa-oard
I've screamed that I don't want it, don't want it
My rocket launcher says leave right now

Won't buy your junk
Don't want your junk
I hate your junk

The only door-to-door people I've ever actually experienced are charities (who I always feel SO BAD turning down because my parents already do their own donations and I don't have the scratch to do so myself) or religious folk (who I'm always tempted to say "No thanks, I'm already stocked up on Jebus"). Not even trick-or-treaters. Seriously.

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Total Votes: 4

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