-> "Tony Stark vs. Lou Gehrig"
Original Song Title:
"Epic Rap Battles of History"
Parody Song Title:
"Tony Stark vs. Lou Gehrig"
Epic Rap Battles of History!
With my jets and repulsors
and my flow all firin', man!
I assembled the Avengers
Earth's mighty and true.
You were stuck behind a fat slob.
Number 4 was Number 2!
I made billions with a bad heart
and drank Scotch better than your German beers.
You're famous for what? Showing up
every day for 14 years?
I died saving the universe.
I found my groove.
They called your death courageous?
Man, you couldn't even move!
I consider you (sider you)
a ripff of Batman (of Batman)
and you know that it's true! (that it's true)
You were selfish with your money (your money)
and you're always running your lip off (your lip off).
The Dark Knight beat Darkseid (beat Darkseid)
of whom Thanos is a ripoff! (a ripoff!)
Comparing leadership's not something (not something)
about which you should be rappin' (be rappin').
After 80 years, I'm still (I'm still)
the definitive Yankee Captain! (Captain!)
You're drunk, maybe JARVIS (JARVIS)
can fix you a better brew (better brew).
I've seen the Lannisters kill (Lannisters kill)
better Starks than you! (than you!)
From Moscow to Saigon
I cleaned Commies' clocks.
The only Reds you ever beat
were those Boston Red Sox!
I made Captain America follow orders
and tamed the Incredible Hulk
while you're still in the shadow
of the Bambino's bulk!
You've got a Stadium in The Bronx.
I've got a Tower in Manhattan.
You got Teresa Wright in a four-poster.
I got Gwyneth Paltrow in satin!
To stand against me
you just didn't have a case.
In this battle, you never
even got to first base!
From what I hear (what I hear)
Cap left you with an ego bruise (ego bruise).
You're an anti-social rich schmuck (rich schmuck)
a half-wit Howard Hughes! (Howard Hughes!)
You can keep your pal Rhodey (pal Rhodey)
and your skanky Pepper Potts (Pepper Potts).
I got 70,000 people (sand people)
watching my home run shots! (home run shots!)
You work for Marvel Comics (Comics)
but you're a pathetic MC (MC).
You're loaded-rich and loaded-drunk (loaded-drunk)
like the bases, maybe you should walk me (should walk me)!
I was a hero after my death (my death)
even before your birth (your birth)
and you're the suckiest man (suckiest man)
in the space or the Earth! (the Earth!)
(Da da da DAT da DAH!)
Rap Battles of History!
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|How Funny: ||5.0|
|Overall Rating: ||5.0|
|Total Votes: ||2|
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