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Song Parodies -> "Tony Stark vs. Lou Gehrig"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Tony Stark vs. Lou Gehrig"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Or, Iron Man vs. Iron Man.
Epic Rap Battles of History!

Tony Stark!


Lou Gehrig!


I... am...
Iron Man!
With my jets and repulsors
and my flow all firin', man!
I assembled the Avengers
Earth's mighty and true.
You were stuck behind a fat slob.
Number 4 was Number 2!
I made billions with a bad heart
and drank Scotch better than your German beers.
You're famous for what? Showing up
every day for 14 years?
I died saving the universe.
I found my groove.
They called your death courageous?
Man, you couldn't even move!

Today (today)
I consider you (sider you)
a ripff of Batman (of Batman)
and you know that it's true! (that it's true)
You were selfish with your money (your money)
and you're always running your lip off (your lip off).
The Dark Knight beat Darkseid (beat Darkseid)
of whom Thanos is a ripoff! (a ripoff!)
Comparing leadership's not something (not something)
about which you should be rappin' (be rappin').
After 80 years, I'm still (I'm still)
the definitive Yankee Captain! (Captain!)
You're drunk, maybe JARVIS (JARVIS)
can fix you a better brew (better brew).
I've seen the Lannisters kill (Lannisters kill)
better Starks than you! (than you!)

From Moscow to Saigon
I cleaned Commies' clocks.
The only Reds you ever beat
were those Boston Red Sox!
I made Captain America follow orders
and tamed the Incredible Hulk
while you're still in the shadow
of the Bambino's bulk!
You've got a Stadium in The Bronx.
I've got a Tower in Manhattan.
You got Teresa Wright in a four-poster.
I got Gwyneth Paltrow in satin!
To stand against me
you just didn't have a case.
In this battle, you never
even got to first base!

From what I hear (what I hear)
Cap left you with an ego bruise (ego bruise).
You're an anti-social rich schmuck (rich schmuck)
a half-wit Howard Hughes! (Howard Hughes!)
You can keep your pal Rhodey (pal Rhodey)
and your skanky Pepper Potts (Pepper Potts).
I got 70,000 people (sand people)
watching my home run shots! (home run shots!)
You work for Marvel Comics (Comics)
but you're a pathetic MC (MC).
You're loaded-rich and loaded-drunk (loaded-drunk)
like the bases, maybe you should walk me (should walk me)!
I was a hero after my death (my death)
even before your birth (your birth)
and you're the suckiest man (suckiest man)
in the space or the Earth! (the Earth!)

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!

(Da da da DAT da DAH!)
Rap Battles of History!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Patrick - December 26, 2019 - Report this comment
I'm not sure it's much of an honor to have a disease named for you. I wonder if KC Royals star George Brett was thinking of Lou Gehrig when it was announced that Brett had been treated for hemorrhoids. I take it that Tony Stark is the hero of a Marvel superhero comic book movie. Did I guess right?

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