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Song Parodies -> "Mr. Spock vs. Dr. Spock"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Mr. Spock vs. Dr. Spock"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

For the record, Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry always claimed he came up with the character and name "Spock" without ever having heard of pediatrician Dr. Benjamin Spock -- who actually was part of an American rowing team that won a Gold Medal at the 1924 Olympics in Paris.
Epic Rap Battles of History!

Mister Spock!


Doctor Spock!


(Dr. Spock)
Ordinarily, I'd say, Trust yourself:
You know more than you think you do.
In your case, I'm not sure
that's entirely true!
I'm a rowing champion.
I won Olympic Gold.
You smell like a Horta
in a cargo hold!
You chased Mariette Harley's
and Jill Ireland's curves.
But you can't come through in a pinch.
You've got some nerve!
My techniques are perennial
forever timely and topical.
Your style's so s***
it's highly scatological!

(Mr. Spock)
Really, doctor?
Are you sure?
You took care of small children
but it's your bars that are immature.
I have no ego
but I'm a space icon.
With what's now known about child care
your legacy is gone.
Your books are boring.
I find them grating.
But you still have admirers.
That's illogical... but fascinating.
I outwitted many species
and decoded a few ciphers
while you're the one
who reminds humans of diapers.

(Dr. Spock)
Wrong! I'm a Yalie
well above par.
So go f*** yourself
'cause you went too pon farr!
Your "Mirror Universe"
self had a beard
but the real you had one on Discovery?
Now, that's weird!
You got played in the reboot
by Zachary Quinto.
He turned out to be flaming
like a '73 Ford Pinto!
I gave parents confidence.
Raise kids right, they willed it!
But your parents messed you up.
This battle's over: I've killed it!

(Mr. Spock)
The needs of the many
outweigh the needs of the few.
You've killed it? This is me
coming back from the dead, part two!
I'm in control of my emotions
and of this battle's tension.
This simple talent
is beyond your comprehension.
You ran for President
on a peace platform.
You finished 5th. Even George McGovern
showed better form.
I pleased more hippies
in their formative years.
My tricorder detects
no intelligent life here.

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!


(sound of Spock's tricorder)

Rap Battles of History!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

TJC - December 23, 2019 - Report this comment
Top notch Spock spoofin! Again, you rule this format!
Michael Pacholek - December 23, 2019 - Report this comment
Thank you. Unlike Spock, I do have an ego. It's not Kirk-sized, but, as Scotty would say, This was a matter of pride!
2Eagle - December 23, 2019 - Report this comment
Nice trekkin'.
Patrick - January 02, 2020 - Report this comment
I've been away for a few days, but I had to look this one up. I recall Garner Ted Armstrong referring to the influence of the rowing team Doctor on the boomer generation as "Spock Marks". I like the reference to the presumably gay character as "flaming as a Ford Pinto".

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