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Song Parodies -> "Mike Pence vs. Elaine Benes"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Mike Pence vs. Elaine Benes"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I’ve done these for Jerry, George, Kramer, and even Newman. Why not Elaine? I was searching for the right opponent for her. I finally found him.
Epic Rap Battles of History!

Mike Pence!


Elaine Benes!


I'll beat this fake VP
who played a slut on NBC.
She's the one who shouldn't
be alone with me!
Trump's going down
so I’m measuring the drapes.
From my upcoming victory
there’ll be no escapes!
I’m an experienced executive
the Number 1 Hoosier.
Your time running Peterman
shows, like Costanza, you’re a loser!
I’m a leader for the future!
I’ve got 2020s vision!
All you get
is the world’s derision!

Who does this guy
think he is?
He’s certainly not as cool
as Keith Hernandez.
In a cruel god
you're a true believer.
Your Mommy issues make Joan Crawford
look like June Cleaver!
It’s kind of ironic
you think gays are no good.
From what I hear
you like frank
under wood!
Not that there’s anything
wrong with that.
But the world needs a shortstop
and doesn’t want you at bat!

My profile is rising.
It’s truly ascendant.
I’m gonna crash you
like you did to Pendant!
I leave you no choice
like that restaurateur Poppie.
Your love-life is a mess
and your seconds are sloppy!
Getting things right?
You could never do it.
Even with JFK
Junior, you blew it!
You rap like you dance:
Totally zany!
You’d have had better luck putting
that mannequin up against me, Lanie!

So, now, we’ve seen your best.
This is no contest!
Call me Jodie Foster
‘cause I’m not impressed!
With that tighty-whitey hair
you look like a Bond villain.
And you're wrapped up in this Russia thing
so in prison you'll be chillin'!
Everything you do
is an epic fail!
Anyone would prefer
Old Christine to New Quayle!
When it comes to right-wingers
I know how to slay 'em.
The only one who thinks you're sponge-worthy
is Lindsey Graham!

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!


("Hail to the Chief" played by the "Seinfeld" musicians?)

Rap Battles of History!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   7
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - November 12, 2019 - Report this comment
Been a while since I've seen "Seinfeld" or Mike Pence. I actually think a lot of low-info voters believe that if Donald Trump is removed from office that Hillary Clinton would become President. I suspect Pence is far more conservative than Trump. He comes from a state that for years refused to recognize daylight savings time (which I consider to be a good position to take). I like the Old Christine to New Quayle comparison. By the way, what ever did happen to Dan Quayle? I'd like to serve him a baked potatoe.

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