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Song Parodies -> "Freddy Krueger vs. Count Dracula"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Freddy Krueger vs. Count Dracula"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Beat the Prince of Darkness? (No, I don't mean Ozzy Osbourne.) As we've now seen, Freddy couldn't even beat Jason Voorhees from the "Friday the 13th" movies. Yes, Dracula was the original: The Bela Lugosi film was released on February 12, 1931, 9 months before the Boris Karloff "Frankenstein."
(wolf's howl)

Epic Rap Battles of History!

Freddy Krueger!


Count Dracula!


They put you up against me?
You've got nothin'!
I kill people in their sleep.
You spend half a day in a coffin!
I'm the coolest supervillain
even though I don't got
no skin or hair!
You better turn into a bat
and fly high above
or you'll get staked
through the heart with my glove!
When it comes to horror dudes
I'm the very best.
I'm your nightmare on the streets
of Bucharest!

The children of the night:
Vhat music they make.
But your glove is metal
not a vooden stake!
You're a Craven fool
who can't give me a scare
and you're now portrayed
by a Bad News Bear!
I'm the original gangsta
of horror history
played by Christopher Lee
and Bela Lugosi!
You think your burned-up arse
can rap to that?
Not in that rugby shirt
and lame Indiana Jones hat!

Don't Count on it, Count.
You're gonna get beat.
I've seen better vamps in "Twilight"
and on "Sesame Street!"
I don't need Van Helsing
to achieve victory.
The real bloodsuckers
are in Washington, D.C.!
You dress like a butler
and you're pale like a nerd.
Any kid with a crucifix
could stop you, you turd!
Forget it, Oldman:
Your movies are dreck!
I'm a real killer!
You're just a pain in the neck!

You vant to talk real killers?
That makes you a failure:
I vas based on a prince
who vas called The Impaler!
Your blood may be cold
and green like a Vulcan's
but my rhymes are colder
and you'll end up sulkin'!
I dress like a pimp
and my fame is far vider.
I'll feast on you
like Renfield on a spider!
Your style is vack.
You can't stop my attack!
Once you face Drac
you never come back!
Ah ah ah ah!
(thunder and lightning)

Who von?
Who's next?
You decide!


(Drac laughs over the thunder and lightning)
Ah ah ah ah!

Rap Battles of History!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Type B - June 08, 2017 - Report this comment
Dracula was remade many times. Here is its finest moment:
Michael Pacholek - April 20, 2019 - Report this comment
The real ERB guys just did Freddy vs. Wolverine. It was visually stunning, but lyrically disappointing. And Wolverine won by comparing Freddy to Jason and R. Kelly.

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