Epic Rap Battles of History!

2016!

vs....

1968!

Begin!

(2016, represented by Alec Baldwin as Donald Trump)
Yo. I'm the worst year
that you could ever get.
Even 2001 is asking...

(2001, represented by Will Ferrell as George W. Bush)
Miss me yet?

(2016)
I had a messed-up election.
You lost count of the flubs.
Sports was so wack
I made champs of the Cubs!
And I'm killin' it! I killed Bowie
Glenn Frey and even Prince!
Gordie Howe and Ali
have died for my sins!
I killed R2-D2
New Chekov and Patty Duke.
And had enough police brutality
to make anybody puke!

(1968, represented by Rich Little as Richard Nixon)
So, you're citing death.
Let me make this perfectly clear:
Dr. King and Bobby Kennedy
got whacked in my year!
You think you're hot (expletive deleted)
'cause you had Trump win the nation?
I gave Electoral Votes to a guy
who officially did segregation!
Paris! Berkeley! Chicago!
I had riots and arson!
It was hard to find laughs
even on Johnny Carson!
And you didn't have have the Vietnam
War going right through you.
That's one hell of a way
for a year to sock it to you!

(2016)
Are you (expletive deleted)in' kiddin' me?
You better change your tune.
At least your year
sent a rocket to the Moon!
You had the Beatles and soul tunes.
Your music was the best.
I'm stuck with Drake and Bieber
and (expletive deleted)in' Kanye West!
And what about TV?
You had Carson on Tonight.
I'm stuck with Jimmy Fallon.
He's not a bright light!
You had Laugh-In and Get Smart
to tickle funny bones.
I'm loaded with death:
Walking Dead and Game of Thrones!

(1968)
You also got the Internet
and suicide hotlines.
I had the draft and heroin
infecting my plotlines!
You mentioned baseball.
You shouldn't be such a bitcher.
I was stuck with a weak-hitting
Year of the Pitcher!
I had Mao Zedong and Brezhnev.
You can't make suffering great again.
And given skinny chicks like Twiggy
I'd take any Kardashian!
And you got far less pollution.
I had all that leaded gas.
Even with your global warming
I can still roast your ass!

(The music stops. Footsteps are heard.
The spotlight shines on 1941, represented by Bruno Ganz
as Adolf Hitler from "Downfall.")

(1941)
Nein. You dummkopfen.
Both of you are rhyming sickly.
I am the Year of Hell.
I can beat both of you "bigly"!
Millions of soldiers'
lives was I pinching.
On American soil
I had many a lynching!
Come out of the closet?
Gays didn't wanna.
No minority could escape
not even with marijuana!
The entire Third World
was European colonies.
And Pearl Harbor fell victim
to the Japanese felonies!
You want to talk death?
I (expletive deleted)in' killed James Joyce!
Baden-Powell and Lou Gehrig
bringing tears to many boys!
I killed Virginia Woolf
and Louis Chevrolet!
Paderewski and Brandeis?
I took them away!
I had polio and cholera
with no vaccines!
And no penicillin
so you know what that means!
Compared to me, you two
are an epic fail!
Now stand at attention
and seig (expletive deleted)in' hail!

(2016, now looking like a millennial)
Dude, he's so right.
I should've learned my history.
You should've remembered
but to me, it was a mystery.

(1968, now looking like a hippie)
Man, he's got us beat.
We didn't have his kind of messing.
Maybe we should both
be counting our blessings.

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!

Epic...

(World War II-era newsreel music)

Rap Battles of History!