Epic Rap Battles of Pomposity!

Charles Emerson Winchester III!

vs....

Frasier Winslow Crane!

Begin!

(Charles)
Gentlemen?
I'm winning this battle.
I'm a true Bostonian.
He's a fraud from Seattle.
I'm a true Brahmin
and hahhhhd, I'm comin'
while at a Back Bay saloon
this cretin is slummin'.
You cannot defeat me
Doctor Crane.
I am a war hero
bringing you Major pain.
You're nearly as depressing
as your hometown's weather.
I'm a surgeon. Perhaps I should
sew your lips together!

(Frasier)
I receive Cheers
while you've got the bends.
No one's Mad About You
and you have no Friends.
I salute your service
in war in Korea
but your rapping is little more
than verbal diarrhea!
You poisoned Margaret's Hot Lips
with your pheasant inedible.
Perhaps you saw in her
something that was Oedipal?
I'm a licensed psychiatrist
and I'm giving you shrinkage!
You must be feeling as small
as Peter Dinklage!

(Charles)
Your father's a policeman
but your verse is a crime.
You simply cannot match
this breeding of mine!
You embarrassed yourself
on that radio station.
You're a humongous ass
that I'm truly dominatin'!
You were cuckolded by Lilith
and you're quite the stiff.
You are far from the norm.
You should jump off a cliff!
I'm a real doctor
while you just leave me bored.
Compared to your medical AND mike skills
I'm practically a Time Lord!

(Frasier)
Time Lord? How fitting
a title for you.
For after Hawkeye and B.J. operate
people think, "Doctor WHO?"
I can actually
play the piano
and sing, while your rhymes
smell like Cape Cod guano!
I have a son, Frederick
to carry on my name
while no woman wants
to marry you, for shame!
There'll never be a 4th
to follow you, you nerd!
You'll always be Charles Emerson
Winchester the Turd!

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide?

Epic...

(Frasier's piano playing)

Rap Battles of Pomposity!