Epic Rap Battles of History!

Catherine the Great!

vs....

Margaret Thatcher!

Begin!

(Margaret)
The Boss Lady is here
out of Number 10 Downing.
While this elderly bitch
with a horse is clowning!
I dominate Russians
and your fellow Germans, too.
I command a modern army.
Half your army slept with you!
I gained power when the people
supported me in an election!
You needed conversion and arranged marriage
and to overthrow your husband!
You rolled over weak peoples
while I took back the Falklands
from a modern nation
so you shouldn't be talkin'!

(Catherine)
Upon my passing
a hundred million shed tears.
When you died, the United Kingdom
was full of cheers!
I grew an empire
from the Winter Palace.
The people loved me.
You only inspired malice!
I got Marlene Dietrich
and Catherine Zeta-Jones
while only Meryl Streep, you creep
has represented your bones!
And I frequently found passion
and a true love or two
while even your husband
didn't want to sleep with you!

(Margaret)
You know I don't like Catholics
and you're Eastern Orthodox.
So I'll send my Royal Navy
to clean your clocks!
I set up a Major
and taught manners to the miners.
I could show your Slavic slobs
a leader who's far finer!
You partitioned Poland.
I took the Falklands back.
I governed a Union
while you don't know Jack!
I restored Britain's greatness
despite being a ginger!
While you're just an usurper
not to mention a minger!

(Catherine)
I beat Persia and the Ottomans
and I also beat Sweden.
Your greatest victory was stopping
Bobby Sands from eatin'!
I pioneered opportunities
for women in education
while you were just a figurehead
for women's liberation!
I reigned from Finland to Alaska.
You're just a glorified Palin!
If she saw me from her house
she would really be wailin'!
They called you the Iron Lady
but you're really a wuss, yeah!
I've beaten you as if rap battles
were inwented in Russia!

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!

Epic...

Da.

Rap Battles of History!