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Song Parodies -> "Henry Jekyll vs. Bruce Banner"
Original Song Title:
"Epic Rap Battles of History"
Original Performer:
Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd
Parody Song Title:
"Henry Jekyll vs. Bruce Banner"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
People have been demanding this one from the real ERB guys for a while. I hope my doing it first doesn't make them angry. Note that Frederic March was the first actor to play a sound-film version of Jekyll and Hyde.
Epic Rap Battles of History!
Henry Jekyll!
vs....
Bruce Banner!
Begin!
(Jekyll)
I'm coming to you
from times neo-Victorian
taking on a comic character
who's quite sophomorian!
I'm a brilliant scientist
who decided to tempt fate.
Now, for split personalities
I'm everyone's template!
I researched duality.
I chose Edward Hyde.
Now I'm terrorizing London
leaving Scotland Yard mortified!
I don't whine about my condition.
I embrace it in bulk.
While you're just another Stan Lee
incredible sulk!
(Banner)
Oh, you'd better
be careful Henry.
'Cause you wouldn't like me
when I'm angry!
I might be skinny now
but I'm not THAT Ed Norton.
Soon you'll be seeing
the muscles I'm sportin'!
You better make like your creator
and head for the South Pacific.
'Cause when I get angry
it's truly horrific!
You better drink that formula
and get Mr. Hyde's perspective
'cause on your ass I'm about to get...
(changes)
(Hulk)
Radioactive!
(Jekyll)
Oh, look at that.
You got green and big.
I think it's time for me to
take a swig!
(changes)
(Hyde)
Now you see your master
after full transformation!
I'll rock you harder than
any Abomination!
I'm on the March!
You haven't got a chance!
And I see it wasn't your
dick that ripped your pants!
You ain't dealing with Loki.
I'll beat you like you were my wife!
I don't need gamma radiation
to end your half-life!
(Hulk)
Puny Hyde.
Hulk rip out your throat!
Then walk around town
with your pimp cane and coat!
Hulk gonna show you
just what fact is:
You ain't exactly
Dr. Doom or Galactus!
You no gentleman.
You not extraordinary.
You look like ugly version
of Tooth Fairy!
Your life insurance
is getting cashed.
Both these beats and this mad scientist
Hulk smashed!
Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!
Epic...
(sound of Hulk smashing)
Rap Battles of History!
Henry Jekyll!
vs....
Bruce Banner!
Begin!
(Jekyll)
I'm coming to you
from times neo-Victorian
taking on a comic character
who's quite sophomorian!
I'm a brilliant scientist
who decided to tempt fate.
Now, for split personalities
I'm everyone's template!
I researched duality.
I chose Edward Hyde.
Now I'm terrorizing London
leaving Scotland Yard mortified!
I don't whine about my condition.
I embrace it in bulk.
While you're just another Stan Lee
incredible sulk!
(Banner)
Oh, you'd better
be careful Henry.
'Cause you wouldn't like me
when I'm angry!
I might be skinny now
but I'm not THAT Ed Norton.
Soon you'll be seeing
the muscles I'm sportin'!
You better make like your creator
and head for the South Pacific.
'Cause when I get angry
it's truly horrific!
You better drink that formula
and get Mr. Hyde's perspective
'cause on your ass I'm about to get...
(changes)
(Hulk)
Radioactive!
(Jekyll)
Oh, look at that.
You got green and big.
I think it's time for me to
take a swig!
(changes)
(Hyde)
Now you see your master
after full transformation!
I'll rock you harder than
any Abomination!
I'm on the March!
You haven't got a chance!
And I see it wasn't your
dick that ripped your pants!
You ain't dealing with Loki.
I'll beat you like you were my wife!
I don't need gamma radiation
to end your half-life!
(Hulk)
Puny Hyde.
Hulk rip out your throat!
Then walk around town
with your pimp cane and coat!
Hulk gonna show you
just what fact is:
You ain't exactly
Dr. Doom or Galactus!
You no gentleman.
You not extraordinary.
You look like ugly version
of Tooth Fairy!
Your life insurance
is getting cashed.
Both these beats and this mad scientist
Hulk smashed!
Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!
Epic...
(sound of Hulk smashing)
Rap Battles of History!
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| 5 | 13 | 13 | 13 |
User Comments
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This would truly be an epic battle, with lots of collateral damage. What did Banner do with his clothes after he came down from hulking? Maybe he carried a suitcase with some extra garments for just such an emergency. And did people in Metropolis find Clark Kent's suits lying around in phone booths? Were his wallet and driver's license inside? How did he explain at the DMV about constantly having to replace his lost documents? Maybe he didn't drive and just took cabs or rode the subway. Security code FAQ. When I watch these old shows I start to wonder about things like that.
I can't speak for the Hulk, but Superman has a small pouch inside his cape where he keeps his civilian clothes compressed. Presumably, when he needs to change back to Clark Kent, he used his heat vision to get the wrinkles out.
The original ERB guys just did Bruce Banner vs. Bruce Jenner. Didn't work too well.
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