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Song Parodies -> "Rowan & Martin vs. Martin & Lewis"
Original Song Title:
"Epic Rap Battles of History"
Original Performer:
Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd
Parody Song Title:
"Rowan & Martin vs. Martin & Lewis"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
My first attempt at a multi-side rap battle. Dan Rowan and Dick Martin were an established comedy team well before hosting "Laugh-In" on NBC from 1968 to 1973. Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis became much better known for other things after they split up their 1946 to 1956 comedy team.
Epic Rap Battles of History!
Rowan & Martin!
vs....
Martin & Lewis!
Begin!
(Dino)
When the moon hits your eye
like pizza pie, that's amore.
(Jerry)
When these guys' jokes hit my ears
that's a-bore-ay!
(Dino)
Your Sixties-style humor
is very shady.
Jerry makes the French laugh.
(Jerry)
While Dino pleases the LADIES!
(Dino)
I'm hanging with Frank
and laughing with Sammy.
(Jerry)
You hang with Alan Sues.
That leaves me cold and clammy.
(Dino)
I could take these guys sober
or after I'd put 10 drinks away.
(Jerry)
But listening to their jokes
would be a REAL "Labor Day"!
(Dan)
Did you hear that, Richard?
From the drunk and the prick?
(Dickie)
They're about to get smacked
by Dan and Big Dick!
(Dan)
We're having good clean fun
with Arte Johnson and Ruth Buzzi.
(Dickie)
While these guys' private lives
turned out to be scuzzy!
(Dan)
We're gonna sock it to ya
with rhymes star-spangled.
(Dickie)
Look THAT up
in your Funk & Wagnalls!
(Dan)
Our talent is a rock
that you just can't budge.
(Dickie)
Hope you bums got a good lawyer, 'cause
(Dan & Dickie together)
Here come da judge!
(Dino)
Everybody needs somebody.
You know what that's like.
And you'll need a doctor, Dan
'cause I'm sick on this mike!
(Jerry)
Then that doctor will have to tend
to Dick's nasty injury
'cause I'm gonna rock-a-bye that baby
with a left hook melody!
(Dino)
I'm gonna roast ya, Rowan
like you were the Man of the Hour!
(Jerry)
And your style stinks, Dickie.
Dawg, you need to take a shower!
(Dino)
I'm droppin' Steubenville bombs!
(Jerry)
And I'm a tough bastard from Newark.
Call you guys Ninja Turtles.
(Dino & Jerry together)
'Cause we've dumped you in the sewer!
(Dan)
We've got some news from the future.
(Dickie)
And we don't mean to get snippy.
(Dan)
But your comedy's been forgotten.
(Dickie)
You bet your sweet bippy!
(Dan)
Matt Helm and the Nutty Professor?
No one gives a darn.
(Dickie)
We got finer ladies:
Goldie Hawn and Judy Carne!
(Dan)
You're not...
(Arte Johnson)
Very intereshting!
(Dickie)
Your style is full sin!
(Dan)
I think both of you, last night
had too much medicine!
(Dickie)
We've beaten these...
(Lily Tomlin)
Ringy-dingies!
(Dan)
Their chances are gone.
(Dan & Dickie together)
Maybe you two need
your own telethon!
Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!
Epic...
(Well, ring my chimes!)
Rap Battles of History!
Rowan & Martin!
vs....
Martin & Lewis!
Begin!
(Dino)
When the moon hits your eye
like pizza pie, that's amore.
(Jerry)
When these guys' jokes hit my ears
that's a-bore-ay!
(Dino)
Your Sixties-style humor
is very shady.
Jerry makes the French laugh.
(Jerry)
While Dino pleases the LADIES!
(Dino)
I'm hanging with Frank
and laughing with Sammy.
(Jerry)
You hang with Alan Sues.
That leaves me cold and clammy.
(Dino)
I could take these guys sober
or after I'd put 10 drinks away.
(Jerry)
But listening to their jokes
would be a REAL "Labor Day"!
(Dan)
Did you hear that, Richard?
From the drunk and the prick?
(Dickie)
They're about to get smacked
by Dan and Big Dick!
(Dan)
We're having good clean fun
with Arte Johnson and Ruth Buzzi.
(Dickie)
While these guys' private lives
turned out to be scuzzy!
(Dan)
We're gonna sock it to ya
with rhymes star-spangled.
(Dickie)
Look THAT up
in your Funk & Wagnalls!
(Dan)
Our talent is a rock
that you just can't budge.
(Dickie)
Hope you bums got a good lawyer, 'cause
(Dan & Dickie together)
Here come da judge!
(Dino)
Everybody needs somebody.
You know what that's like.
And you'll need a doctor, Dan
'cause I'm sick on this mike!
(Jerry)
Then that doctor will have to tend
to Dick's nasty injury
'cause I'm gonna rock-a-bye that baby
with a left hook melody!
(Dino)
I'm gonna roast ya, Rowan
like you were the Man of the Hour!
(Jerry)
And your style stinks, Dickie.
Dawg, you need to take a shower!
(Dino)
I'm droppin' Steubenville bombs!
(Jerry)
And I'm a tough bastard from Newark.
Call you guys Ninja Turtles.
(Dino & Jerry together)
'Cause we've dumped you in the sewer!
(Dan)
We've got some news from the future.
(Dickie)
And we don't mean to get snippy.
(Dan)
But your comedy's been forgotten.
(Dickie)
You bet your sweet bippy!
(Dan)
Matt Helm and the Nutty Professor?
No one gives a darn.
(Dickie)
We got finer ladies:
Goldie Hawn and Judy Carne!
(Dan)
You're not...
(Arte Johnson)
Very intereshting!
(Dickie)
Your style is full sin!
(Dan)
I think both of you, last night
had too much medicine!
(Dickie)
We've beaten these...
(Lily Tomlin)
Ringy-dingies!
(Dan)
Their chances are gone.
(Dan & Dickie together)
Maybe you two need
your own telethon!
Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!
Epic...
(Well, ring my chimes!)
Rap Battles of History!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 9 | 9 | 9 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 8 | 8 | 8 |
User Comments
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Give it a rest
Nice attempt at battling duets. Brings back memories of the old Lewis and Martin movies as well as "Laugh In". Keep up the good work.
Alright, here's my challenge for you: Do an ERB pitting Shirley Temple, Jackie Coogan and Baby Peggy against Dakota Fanning, Abigail Breslin and Lindsey Lohan. ;)
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