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Song Parodies -> "George W. Bush vs. Kermit the Frog"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"George W. Bush vs. Kermit the Frog"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Huh? What could these two possibly have in common? Kermit will explain in his first round. Don't worry, I gave Bush a few zingers.
Epic Rap Battle of History!

George W. Bush!


Kermit the Frog!


My fellow Americans
it's yer Commander-in-Chief
and unlike my speeches
this battle will be brief.
This frog tried to teach children.
But is our children learning?
When I'm through with him
there'll be frog legs burning.
I'll clear this battlefield like Iraq
and my ranch's brush
then I'll take this nasal frog
and kick his amphibian tush.
I'm a real cowboy.
Yer a poser, swampish.
Consider yourself beat, Kermit.
Mission accomplished!

Hi-ho! Kermit the
Frog here
against a dumb douchebag
who's addicted to beer!
You've got no class.
I'm a first-class Muppet.
I got a hand in my back
but you're more of a puppet!
You can't remember how big I was
in my glory days
because you watched "The Muppet Show"
in an alcoholic daze.
You tried to privatize
Social Security
while I get kids to watch vaudeville legends
in perpetuity!

Whoa, there, pardner.
What's with the big words?
Like Gonzo and Sam the Eagle
yer show's really for the birds.
I protected this nation
from terrorists and evildoers
while Statler and Waldorf tell me
yer show smells like a sewer.
I got my Daddy and brother Jeb
and Laura's a fine creature.
Who's got yer back? Fozzie?
And ya screw a porcine creature!
This battle is over
and ya just got beat
and I ain't tellin' ya how to get
back to Sesame Street!

You can't beat me. I'm a
rapper who's mos def.
You speak English as poorly
as the Swedish Chef!
You're as scandalous as Nixon.
And only Hoover perhaps
had a more damaging
economic collapse!
You screwed up so badly, people
chose an Arabic name
on a black face to clean up
your Presidential shame!
You say you won this battle?
You've told another whopper.
I've beaten you as badly
as I did Doc Hopper!

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!


(Bush's familiar laugh)

Rap Battles of History!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.7
How Funny: 2.7
Overall Rating: 2.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   8
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - June 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Searching for weapons of mass hilarity. "I got a hand in my back, but you're more of a puppet" is a classic.
Observer - June 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Pinko Pacholek, ya wanna start a nuk'lar war? I'm tellin' ma daddy!
One who knows - July 07, 2015 - Report this comment
Pacholek ripped off the whole puppet thing from ERBoH, Mitt Romney vs Barack Obama. Watch the video.

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