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Song Parodies -> "Ed Norton vs. Cosmo Kramer"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Ed Norton vs. Cosmo Kramer"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

We put Ralphie Boy up against Georgie Boy, but if there was ever a TV character who was the lineal descendant of another, it's the K-Man from "Nawton." Why, they're even both best remembered by their last names.
Epic Rap Battles of History!

Ed Norton!


Cosmo Kramer!


Hey, buddy.
You got anything I can "borrow"?
Doesn't matter, 'cause this battle's
gonna bring you some sorrow.
My show is in color
and my style is much newer.
Your flows smell worse than the ones
you work on in the sewer!
How come you always wear a hat?
I think it must be said:
Ralph just might agree:
You got a hole in your head!
You're a Fifties space cadet
with an I.Q. of 9
and you certainly ain't no
"pal o' mine!"

Wha' wha' wha' wha' wha'?
Shee-eesh, what a grouch!
I'm gonna knock this bum right back
onto Jerry Seinfeld's couch!
You're mockin' my work
but lemme tell ya somethin':
At least I got a job!
You call your style "newer"?
you ain't talkin' 'bout your clothes.
They were retro in my time
so you shouldn't wear those!
You spend money in dumber ways
than Brian Cashman!
The DMV was right, Kramer:
You're an ass, man!

You're calling me an ass?
You big dumb cluck?
I'm gonna leave you shaking
like you're doing the Hucklebuck!
Like you were "addressing the ball"
I'm gonna make you quake and quiver
and then I'm gonna drown you
in the Swanee River!
You can't win this battle.
Go call your heavyweight chum.
Let him "brive a dus"
through your Brooklyn slum!
I'll go "kara-te" on you
and your lodge boys -- the Weasels?
I'll leave you feeling worse
than when those kids gave you the measles!

You're makin' fun o' da Raccoons?
So you're gonna go there?
Well, you're a racist comedian
with TV's dumbest hair!
You can't keep a woman
while I'm married to Trixie.
She's a fine ex-showgirl
and I ain't just whilstin' "Dixie"!
Your Kramerica Enterprises
is a lame pipe-dream.
Even Ralph came up with better
get-rich-quick schemes!
All that "Sein Language" wisdom
but you've never learned.
Like that time with the butter-tan
the K-Man's gotten burned!

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!



Rap Battles of History!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.4
How Funny: 2.4
Overall Rating: 2.4

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   11
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Patrick - February 24, 2015 - Report this comment
I could see these two getting physical.

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