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Song Parodies -> "Franklin Delano Roosevelt vs. Ronald Reagan"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Franklin Delano Roosevelt vs. Ronald Reagan"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

My guess is, my ERB tributes have gotten one-bombed because somebody doesn't like my politics -- even though none of them have had anything to do with politics. Until now. For those of you who are conservative, Reagan will get in some good licks, especially since I'm extending this to 3 verses. (Why not, FDR had 4 terms.) Including a borrowing, from the real battles, of Albert Einstein's "Take a seat" line to Stephen Hawking. For those of you who are liberal, remember: Because whoever goes last gets the last word, they usually come out sounding like the winner. One more note: Somebody, for a high school project, did a battle of FDR vs. John F. Kennedy. (Which makes no sense: Although FDR and JFK's father had a love-hate professional relationship, JFK admired FDR tremendously, and wouldn't have won the nomination without FDR Jr.'s help.) I've adapted a couple of lines from that battle, including the last one.
Epic Rap Battles of History!

Franklin Delano Roosevelt!


Ronald Reagan!


Well, I saved the economy
and tore down that Wall.
What did you do again?
Well, I don't recall.
I know World War II
was won by Eisenhower.
And your style stinks, Frank.
Dawg, you need to take a shower.
I swept the country twice
from Hollywood to Notre Dame
while you got played at Yalta
by Stalin, what a shame!
Like the Japanese to Pearl Harbor
I'm blowing you away.
I'm the most popular President
of the U.S.A.!

In your 93 years
not much have you learned.
This is a fireside rap
and you're about to get burned!
F "DJ" R is the Commander-
in-Chief of rhyme.
You think you can win this battle?
Sucka, not on my dime!
You voted for me 4 times
and now, a lame diss
from Bonzo's co-star?
I will not stand for this!
I'm the greatest President
of the 20th Century!
The only thing you have to fear
is... me!

Be afraid of you? Well, maybe
in the Twilight Zone.
So take a seat, Frank.
Oops, I see you brought your own.
I had the Moral Majority.
You ain't a holy roller.
I'm firing you like you were
an air-traffic controller!
You tried to pack the Court
but your own party objected.
And I'm guessing Eleanor turned lesbian
'cause you left her neglected!
I got the D.C. airport named for me
when I was still alive
while all you got was New York's
crumbling East River Drive!

Is that the best you can do
with your conservative rhymin'?
Now, I'm gonna dump you
like my name was Jane Wyman!
I bailed out the banks.
You trashed the manufacturing.
I ran deficits to help people.
You gave the middle class a fracturing!
I gave the British Lend-Lease
so they could be freedom fighters.
While you sold weapons to the guys
who became al-Qaeda!
And you helped the Chinese
so you didn't "beat the Commies."
I may have cheated on Eleanor
but you called Nancy "Mommy!"

Well, now you've done it:
You've insulted my wife!
Like that stroke, I'm gonna give you
the beating of your life!
I broke your record
for Electoral Votes.
And I looked great on TV
and I had the better quotes!
I ain't no Herbert Hoover.
Just thought I'd warn ya.
I swept the nation from Maine
to Simi Valley, California!
I'm a better President
and a better MC.
Even Clinton and Obama
have said they admire me!

But Clinton dedicated
my Memorial on the Mall.
Your legacy is a joke
and you didn't "tear down that Wall!"
Obama's still cleaning up
the mess you made
while the New Deal is still
my glory displayed!
Because of my efforts
there's been no World War III.
While you weren't a great President
you just played one on TV!
Your raps excite the Teabaggers
but they have no class.
I can't move my legs
but I sure kicked your ass!

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!


(The first few notes of "Hail to the Chief")

Rap Battles of History!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   12
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   14

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Leough - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
Forget about the one-votes and keep doing these - one of the most entertaining concepts to hit this site in years! And this was one of the best!
TJC - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
Really excellent, MP--well researched, cleverly constructed, deftly apolitical for a 'political piece', and most importantly, *frickin' funny*!
Ditto Leough's observation re your pioneering 'the most entertaining concept' in years!
Politico - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
How rude to pit two great Presidents against each other. FDR was in a chair and RR had Alzheimer's. In poor taste and questionable execution, so 1s. Go back to your real parodies which are nothing more than dimwitted political rants of a leftist nutjob.
Callmelennie - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
I didn't give you any of these one-sies, Mike
Melanie Lee - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
DKTOS--and I imagine that raps are hard to match anyway--but I found the content amusing, the jokes cute (including the zingers!). And besides, I basically agree with you! 555 to counteract the 1's.
Timmy1000 - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
I've always liked these. I really like the last line about not being able to move his legs but still kicked his ass - very much like the rap battles online.
Patrick - February 20, 2015 - Report this comment
I've been away from the computer for a couple of days, but I couldn't miss this, especially after you tipped us off. So many great lines: "not on my dime", "fire you like an air traffic controller", "Bonzo's co-star" (a disparaging reference from people who haven't actually seen the movie, it's not how it the title sounds). I agree with Leough. These rap battles are the best concept on the site since you started the "If ---- Sang 'Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald'". My brother and I watch "Saturday Night Live" together over the telephone. We long ago agreed that about the only time the show is funny is when they are doing political satire.

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