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Song Parodies -> "Colonel Potter vs. Colonel Sanders"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Colonel Potter vs. Colonel Sanders"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Today, "Epic Rap Battles of History" begins Season 4, with "Ghostbusters vs. Mythbusters." I've wanted these guys to do this one for some time now -- after all, they've done Captain Kirk vs. Christopher Columbus -- but, so far, no approval of the MASH commander vs. the king of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Well, you know what they say: If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.
Epic Rap Battles of History!

Colonel Sherman T. Potter!


Colonel Harland Sanders!


Here, chick, chick, chick!
Come look at this:
I'm puttin' whuppin' this Colonel
on my Bucket list!
A Grade-A M.C.
and I'm A-O.K.
and my KFC
will leave you D.O.A.!
I'm all preheated
with the flame up higher.
Father Mulcahy ain't
gonna be my "fryer"!
I'm gonna scramble your Radar
and chop the nose offa Klinger!
And Hawkeye can't save you
with a gin-soaked zinger!

Buffalo bagels!
I'm a REAL Colonel.
Your commission's been finagled!
I was in the Great War
and the Big One, II.
But this battle WILL be
"The War to End All Wars"... for YOU!
The bird on my shoulder's stronger
than the ones in your bucket.
They're worse than Army food:
All my men want to chuck it!
Your 11 herbs and spices suck!
Your Double Down's barely a single!
I'll chop you up for officers' mess
and call you "S*** on a shingle!"

Is that all you got?
Well, I'm comin' back large!
Just ask your wife Mildred:
She likes my cavalry charge!
All that time in Korea's left you
looking really pasty
but your Missouri bird said, "Show me"
and she thinks I'm real tasty!

Ten-HUT! I'm goin' off
like a surplus grenade!
You better cross the road, Chicken Colonel
'cause you're gonna get played!
You couldn't beat me
if you had to use The Force!
I've heard better rhymes coming out
of the back end of my horse!

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!

Epic Rap Battles of History!
Yes, they do use profanity in ERB. I'm using asterisks here.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.1
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.1

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - November 10, 2014 - Report this comment
Two old white dudes, both "bird" colonels, doing rap. Quite a fun concept. I don't know the original, but, rap is rap, and to this old white dude it all sounds the same. Lots of good M*A*S*H references, though you left out the mashed potatoes. Potter has real commission, Sanders' is honorary. Potter may have heard better rhymes coming out of his horse, but yours have him beat. This one makes me want to stop by a KFC and sample some of the DOA. Military secret: the 11 herbs and spices were just flour and pepper.
Dave W. - November 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Oh my...pardon me....I think I blew out some boogers while trying to contain my - laughing out loud - habit......Michael, please try not to write such a tickler next time...ok?

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