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Song Parodies -> "Platitudes"

Original Song Title:

"Malibu"

Original Performer:

Miley Cyrus

Parody Song Title:

"Platitudes"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

When "vague encouragement" crosses the line into "condescending asshole-ness"...
Ev'ry time I send a tweet or post stuff on Facebook
And it could stand to be more positive cause things have been pretty bad
Most folks share my fears, they commiserate and shit
But some seem to be real jerks by accident
They say I need thicker skin to deal with all that
Always say they're hopin' that I'll stop all my mopin'
These things make my temper flare because they're bein' an ass

I cannot stand
What they do
Their words aren't true
They're platitudes
Hate their use
Damn platitudes
Make me fume (buddy)

They're always playin' down all my problems
Don't share perspectives? No, I've blown out of proportion
Only freaks would panic at my crap life
They had two jobs at my age so I can't complain
Really don't know much 'bout my strife
My pain cannot exist
I'm not broke, still not rich
Apparently I can't bitch
And when I snap at those snobs, they act so shocked
"We're only tryin' to help you
It's no surprise when you're so mean that you have issues with jobs"

Cut out that crap
All of you
Your words are rude
Those platitudes
Don't mean boo
Damn platitudes
Just a ruse (buddy)

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah
Such a douche
With how you use
Those platitudes (buddy)
Think, won't you (oh-oh, oh)?

Condescendin', I say, I don't want no more
I'd bet that if I was drownin', they'd stand there, won't save me
Because it's the plain truth that I won't try hard
May sound a bit harsh
Want real help, dude
No platitudes

Kinda wish this song was a bigger hit, to be honest. It's so calm and relaxing, you don't even care that Miley spends most of the video without any pants on.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

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User Comments

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Matthias - February 09, 2018 - Report this comment
Not outright hilarious but I get that sometimes you need to vent about idiot people on Facebook giving you a hard time about your job or your love life or lack thereof or anything else really. Never heard of the word “Platitude” so I learned something today!
Agrimorfee - February 09, 2018 - Report this comment
Oh come on, it's not that bad! :P . 555
Peter Andersson - February 09, 2018 - Report this comment
Welcome to OWN and Therapy 555!

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