Did not look where I was walkin', part of the blame is on me
But as my nose is throbbin', I refuse to think that clearly
All caught up in the moment, is it broken? Does it bleed?
I'll calm down in a little bit when I no longer see
Stars all around me

Trod on a bloody rake, whacked me right in the schnoz
Mark across my face, vertical stripe bruisin' from
Where the damn thing smacked me super quick
I hope I didn't loose a tooth as well, ain't right

The stupid thing was hidden beneath the mass of green
That your ass should be tendin' to more regularly
That's why I came to visit: your lawn's a sad sight to see
And I found perfect proof of this with one step of my feet
Not where it should be

Trod on a bloody rake, it hit me pretty hard
Splinters in my face and a poundin' in my heart
No time to react to dodge the hit
"What did my feet hit?" had only just hit my mind

Thought people only trod on rakes, only trod on bloody rakes (rakes)
In real basic comedies, cartoonish comedies, you see
But I trod right upon this rake, this should-be-in-your-shed rake (rake)
That sucks because it was me who starred in that dumb scene, you see

Trod on a bloody rake that you left in your yard
I won't walk away with a "Whoopsie!" on your part
Pay the bills I'll have from this bad hit
Hope they're expensive, that goes for both yours and mine
Because I'm gonna take this rake, 'c-c-cause I'm gonna take this rake and choose
'Cause I'm gonna take this rake and choose an eye-eye-eye-eye