Song Parodies -> "Peons"

Original Song Title:

"Lean On"

Original Performer:

Major Lazer & DJ Snake ft. MØ

Parody Song Title:

"Peons"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "50 Shades of Pop" self-challenge. A man has plans to take over the world. This would be tricky enough, but this particular would-be world ruler is stuck with the worst mooks possible...

All that I wa-ant's to rule the wo-orld
Uphill battle all because
My minio-ons can neve-er
Hit the enemy, such a bother
Hard to wage a war
When your troo-oops are dumb
Ev'ry da-ay, make a no-ote
Why are recruitment standards so low?

I don't trust them with a gun
Whe-ere did we find these peons?
Ev'ry scout's so friggin' dumb
"That sound's probably nothin'" Dumb peons
Broken twig, huge explosion
Ge-ets ignored, stupid peons
All my plans will come undone
I-I-If I don't get me some better peons

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

I've tried my be-est to teach them a-all
To recognise their fellow
Guards in case o-one gets knocked out (hey, hey, hey)
And stripped of their uniform, whether (oh)
Their helmet is off (ah-ah)
Or when they're on, but they're dopes
My progre-ess is zero-o
Durin' teachin' I see three heroes (hey, hey)

They're so thick, facepalm a ton
Whe-ere did we find these peons?
Always attack one by one
That's not how it's done, you stupid peons (hey)
You should all pile on at once
O-One huge orgy of peons
Not like that, you simpletons
Qu-Qu-Quantity's the whole point of you peons

I can't conquer the world with these peons
Hey, hey, hey
Th-Th-The "sick jailmate" routine fools these peons
Peons, peons, peons, peons
Constant failure, lame

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

What the heck's (hey) wrong with these dumb (hey)
U-Useless (hey) half-brain-dead peons?
Were they all (hey) crack-crazy bums (hey)?
Are we usin' (hey) massively-cloned peons (hey)?
Had all these (hey) aspirations (hey)
De-estroyed (hey) thanks to these peons (hey)
Very well (hey), hand me a gun (hey)
Sh-Sh-Show what happens (hey) when you fail me, peons (hey)

Every minion is a proud graduate of the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy.

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Anonymous - January 29, 2016 - Report this comment

In America, the term peon is derogatory against Spanish-Americans of unskilled day labor. Also, lowest social standing.

Otra - January 30, 2016 - Report this comment

Pay no attention to the humorless loser. "Peon" only means things like that in Mexico. In the USA and Canada, the term usually refers to lowly mooks like the orcs' "peons" from World of Warcraft, who do all the menial work.

Incidentally, the reason world-ruler wannabes hire so many guys with low brain power is that the smarter bad guys are either running their own operations already, or are treacherous dealers looking for some other evil overlord's empire they can usurp for themselves. Idiot underlings might have these treasonous ambitions too, but at least they're usually too stupid to succeed at seizing the throne for themselves.

Big Jim - January 30, 2016 - Report this comment

You can find Otra in the Home Depot parking lot on Monday. He's good at digging ditches and painting garages.

Trump Card - January 31, 2016 - Report this comment

Disney dumped you too, eh, Jim?

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