People told me far too damn often
That when life only gives you lemons
Make lemonade, it sounds like nonsense
Never made my own, just bought soft drink
But so much that I heard that old bullshit
I use lemons as a weapon
Sound advice, but I got so sick of it
I use lemons as a weapon

Such a constant, grating proverb
Even though I know the sorts of problems
It can solve is quite limited
Use lemons as a weapon, yes
The first tactic's rather simple:
Throw them right at your enemy's dimples
Not much damage, there's a real wrinkle
Use lemons as a weapon, yes
Second option: better start squeezin'
In their eyeballs, they could start weepin'
Or enough times, they may start bleedin'
Use lemons as a weapon, yes
I know this may seem real basic
Criticism? Better save it
I've got more, hope you can take it
Use lemons as a weapon, yes

First I'll add some hard spikes right on it
Hook it to a chain-like object
Now we've got an edible bludgeon
Lemon flail with which to punish
More than just the standard options
I use lemons as a weapon
Like to see you try to stop this
I use lemons as a weapon

Gonna fashion me a shotgun
That has for ammo citrus-y objects
All cut up to get eyes watered
Use lemons as a weapon, yes
Other types of guns on offer
Snipers and pistols and rocket launchers
Modify them just like the shotgun
Use lemons as a weapon, yes
Back in school, it's barely remembered
Constant proverbs, fact wasn't severed:
Citrus plants are vaguely electric
Use lemons as a weapon, yes
Power weapons of destruction
With the same thing you weren't stoppin'
Sayin' could be used well often
Use lemons as a weapon, yes