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Song Parodies -> "Tame Love"

Original Song Title:

"Same Love"

Original Performer:

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Mary Lambert

Parody Song Title:

"Tame Love"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2013 self-challenge. One of the many things one needs to know about being in a relationship is that involves knowing when to take risks and when not to. This dude has a little issue with that...
Back when we had our first date, I knew I had to wait
No need to rush into this stuff, best to keep a slow pace
Been ten years strong, but now you're feelin' rage
You're like "Ben, can't we kiss? Each time you evade" Thinkin'
Yeah, I guess you've got a point, honey-cheeks
Wonderin' what's inside my little head
To not move up from holdin' hands, cause, yeah, makes me look like a dweeb
Seemed like a good idea back when this started
Thought if I gave you a peck, it could be a temptation
To go down the rabbit hole with further decisions
Tongue action and more, not a thing I could envision
That stuff gets tirin', hence my self-supervision, always stop
Oh no, here we go
I wanna play it safe, ain't nothin' wrong with slow
But somehow that gets twisted into total nonsense
I still love you, it's the truth, I just don't think a snog's the way to go
Ba-ba-ba-ba ('fraid it's so)

It's not a-a pha-a-ase (ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba)
Wanna do this right, not spend all day in one smoo-oo-ooch (ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba)
Not some du-umb pha-a-ase, wanna treat you right
Don't right me off as a dou-ou-ouche
My love, my love, my love
I'm takin' pau-au-au-ause, it's not a fla-a-a-aw
Cause they're ain't no la-a-a-aw against a pau-au-au-ause

On our last date, said that you almost hate me
Cause I dodged a hug, but yet I'm crazy?
Bet you've changed, I can say that safely
It's been 'bout two years since then, just sayin'
There's no real reason for your stressin' because I'm only bein' cautious
So what if I've never talked about you to my fam'ly or
Made some kind of update to Facebook or sim'lar nonsense
That's just invitin' talk 'bout our issues
Don't be lame, babe, just cause caution I'm givin'
Our love is forever, I'm not fearin' competition
Maybe I can seem kind of the smallest bit frigid
Still not some prick who thinks that you should stay in the kitchen, come on
Just tryna help
Don't call me a jerk because upon my shelf
I don't keep any nice pictures of us, that's just schmaltzy
And could be used as a blackmail item, don't fault me
Cause I don't understand why you've suddenly become so salty
Because I've given my reasons from the big down to paltry
What is your little game? I'm just bein' courtly
You should be praisin' me for not bein' so naughty

Take it slow

Because my-y pa-a-ace isn't all Flash-like
You think that I'm stringin' you-ou-ou
Along, along, along
There's nothin' wro-o-o-ong with how I pau-au-au-ause
It's you who's the o-o-o-one who's in the wro-o-o-ong

Tell me, babe, you won't stop
Bein' my one
"Might as well be an online relationship"? Don't be dumb
Those are lame, what we've got is somethin' more special by tons
Should know that it's in your best int'rest to trust me with your heart
Will be less painful in the long run, I know better by far
In a few decades we could maybe think about losin' your bra
No point in makin' this a farce
Not sayin' I'm blameless, just mostly blameless
It's all on you, you keep pushin' for junk no-one sane trusts
Don't say that you'll leave, you'll appreciate this tame love
One day, don't you go trade up, Jen

Come on, plea-ease sta-a-ay (ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba)
You should know I tried, know I won't stop lovin' you-ou-ou (ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba)
I took thi-is pa-a-ace all for you, so I (ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba)
Wouldn't do much worse to you-ou-ou (ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba)
Come on, come on, come on (ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba)
Not what you wa-a-a-ant? Well, that means nau-au-au-aught (ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba)
If it's what I wa-a-a-ant it's good enou-ou-ou-ough (ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba)

I'm not crazy-y, I'm real nice
I'm not crazy, I'm so nice (two years, then we'll kiss, babe)
I'm not crazy (three years, we'll French kiss, babe)
I'm so nice (four years, then I'll strip, babe)
I'm not crazy (five years, then you'll strip, babe)
I'm so nice (six years, we'll have kids, babe)
I'm not crazy (sure you don't want this, babe?)
I'm so nice (don't know what you'll miss, babe)
I'm not crazy, I'm real nice

The gradual shift from "awkward dweeb" to "entitled, controlling bag-o'-dicks" was not my original intention when I came up with the title, it just sorta happened naturally. Though I'm sure that's how some relationships break down instead of how media portrays it as "he seemed so nice, but then he started drop-kicking puppies into a furnace".

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Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

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