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Song Parodies -> "The Honeymooners"

Original Song Title:

"Thrift Shop"

Original Performer:

Macklemore

Parody Song Title:

"The Honeymooners"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I used both Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton in my "Epic Rap Battles of History" parodies. It's time to use them again. I'll asterisk out the kind of words they couldn't have used in 1955.
(Ralph)
What, what, what? What?
(repeated)

(Norton)
Va-va, va-va-va, va-va-va, va-voom!
(repeated)

(Norton)
I'm gonna pop some tags!
Only got $20 in my pocket!
Uh-uh, I'm huntin'!
Lookin' for a come-up!
This is f***ing awesome!

(Ralph)
Walk up to a club, like
"What up, I got a BIG MOUTH!"
When I open it
things tend to go south.
In my uniform
I'm a spiffy arriver.
People like...

(Freddie Muller)
"Damn, that's a cool bus driver!"

(Ralph)
Rollin' in, hella deep
straight outta Bensonhurst.
Stain on my jacket
hadda go get a pizza first.
Norton an' me
see the strippers at Scores.
Shoulda had showers first
smell like the subway's floor.
P***...

But, s***, the ride was 15 cents!

At the pool hall, I rock it.
Sink 17 straight pockets
and if ya don't like it
then you can put a sock in it!
Paul Newman, he called me
Minnesota Fats
I knocked him back to the Old West
'cause I didn't like that!
I was on your Grandpa's show.
I was on your Grandpa's show.
No, for real: Ask your Grandpa:
He'll tell ya: I was funny, yo.
Made jokes about people
familiarity, you're needin':
Gina Lollobrigida
and Anthony Eden.
I made wallpaper
that glows in the dark.
Bought uranium field
in Asbury Park.
Hello? Hello?
The sewer's really smell-o
but Norton still ain't found
no turtle named Donatello!
Pick up my cornet
play a cool tune.
People like...

(Freddie Muller)
He's the Treasurer
of the Raccoons!

(Norton)
I'm gonna pop some tags!
Only got $20 in my pocket!
Uh-uh, I'm huntin'!
Lookin' for a come-up!
This is f***ing awesome!

I'm gonna pop some tags!
Only got $20 in my pocket!
Uh-uh, I'm huntin'!
Lookin' for a come-up!
This is f***ing awesome!

(Ralph)
What you know about
lookin' real nifty?
What you knowin' about
New York in the Fifties?
I'm lookin', I'm lookin'
for a style that goes boom.
One man's trash is another's...

(Norton)
Va-va-va-VOOM!

(Ralph)
I'm rockin' the sweater
and the rest of the golf outfit.
Maybe my swing
would be better without it.
The candy-stripe jacket.
Straw boater, yes-sir-ee.
I was better off before people
had color TV!
Alice, her sister
they laugh at my clothes.
None of them more
than their blabbermouth mother!
I've had all I can take
from their blabbermouth mother!
It's just her nature, she was born that way
their blabbermouth mother!

(Norton)
Hey, Ralph, underneath my vest!
Check it out, it's hella tight!

(Ralph)
Norton, yo.
That's $50 for a T-shirt!
I'm a bus drivin' technician
who does simple addition.
$50 for a T-shirt?
That's some ignorant b**** s***!
I call that
gettin' swindled and pimped s***!
I call that
gettin' tricked by a business!

(Norton)
But Ralph, with my hat added
I look hella dope!

(Ralph)
Wearin' that getup to the club
I'm afraid is a hella don't!
Girls go crazy for a sharp-
dressed man, not a mope!

(Norton)
I bet Trixie will like it!

(Ralph)
And I say, no, she hella won't!

No, she hella won't!

(Norton)
I'm gonna pop some tags!
Only got $20 in my pocket!
Uh-uh, I'm huntin'!
Lookin' for a come-up!
This is f***ing awesome!

I wear your granddad's clothes.
On CBS, you know.
That's how the Fifties roll.
That's a long, long time ago.

I wear your granddad's clothes.

(Ralph)
Damn right!

(Norton)
On CBS, you know.

(Ralph)
Come on!

(Norton)
That's how the Fifties roll.
That's a long, long time ago.

I'm gonna pop some tags!
Only got $20 in my pocket!
Uh-uh, I'm huntin'!
Lookin' for a come-up!
This is f***ing awesome!

(Alice Kramden, sarcastically)
Well, golly gee!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   7
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - May 07, 2015 - Report this comment
This was great! Makes me want to revisit those old episodes of the Honeymooners. A few lines I would change just to fit the theme better because they were exactly the same in the OS but overall this was a fun little tune.
Rob Arndt - May 07, 2015 - Report this comment
Liked it... but was hoping for a "moon" reference from Ralph! 555
Patrick - May 07, 2015 - Report this comment
Updated 50's nostalgia with authentic New York language. Saw a reference on a "Simpsons" rerun last night, every show is a remake of "The Honeymooners", including "The Flintstones", "All In The Family", "King of Queens", and "The Simpsons". A while back "Pawn Stars" turned down Jackie Gleason's car, too costly to repair.
Michael Pacholek - May 07, 2015 - Report this comment
My favorite part was imagining the video, seeing Gleason's face, saying, "Ignorant b***h sh****t! I call that getting swindled and pimp sh****t!"

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