Takin' a hike up sev'ral flights to find an awful sort of surprise
News from the boss (boss): we've got cardio (mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm)
Even if I took a lift ride, I think I'd rather curl up and die
Than have our boss (boss) give us cardio (mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm)

I've got long, long sheets to fill out here, you see
Do you want, want me to get behind on these?
'Cause I doubt you'll tweak the deadline, unlikely, oh-oh, oh-oh
If I want, want free exercise, I would be
Spendin' all, all week climbin' up more than three
Steep-as-hell stories, wait, I do, leave me be, oh-oh, ayy, ayy, that cardio

Hate that cardio
That, that

Been workin' hard and I don't know 'bout you but it's not been done in clothes
Suited for what you'd call cardio (ca-cardio)
It's bus'ness-lite, not a good glow, pinchin' my chest when I'm twistin' it like so
Keep sweatin' hard (hard) throughout the cardio (really gross)

Make it stop, stop, please, my ass can barely breathe
Didn't warn, warn me that today we would be
Makin' our white t-shirts transparent, spare me, oh-oh (really gross)
If you'd told, told me 'bout your plan, I would be
A bit more, more sweet, no thoughts 'bout my two weeks
You can't placate me with "no membership fees", oh-oh, ayy, ayy (whoo!), that cardio

That, that
Hate that cardio
That, that
Hate that cardio

I'm not sayin' (hey) I don't need fitness (I'm a porker)
Ev'rybody (hey) here could use fitness (know we're porkers)
But this sudden (hey) zero-choice fitness (just throw it out)
Is possibly (yeah) the worst damn fitness (total bollocks)
Never had good (hate that cardio) feelin's 'bout fitness
Sweaty, achy, crampy, that's fitness (hate that cardio)
I could handle (hate that, that) that if the fitness (that, that) (just throw it out)
Was my own choice (yeah) to inflict fitness
Only way you should give me fitness
Is to chase you down, stupid fitness