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Song Parodies -> "Weigh Me Now"

Original Song Title:

"Lay It Down"

Original Performer:

Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Weigh Me Now"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

The first step to losing weight (besides making the choice to lose it in the first place) is to actually weigh yourself. Seems pretty simple, right? Well...
Weigh to check out my kilos
Weigh, must check on my kilos
Weigh me now, weigh me now, weigh me now, oh-oh, weigh me now
Weigh to check out my kilos, yeah-eah (who's fit?)

I've been quite the loafer but I hope to show my gut's stayed sucked in
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh
Skimped the thigh work but I've cut down (ooh-oh) on ice cream tubs, dude, well, I've only had six
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Hate to be chunky, I also hate the huge work (ay, ay)
But I can't tune out the taunts of the rude douche jerks (ay, ay)
Are my pecs of a less man-boobish type?
Watch the scales work, won't be tellin' lies

Weigh, must check on my kilos (on my kilos)
Weigh to check (yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah) out my kilos (whoa-oh-oh)
Weigh me now (weigh me now), weigh me now (weigh me now)
Weigh me now (weigh me now), oh-oh, weigh me now (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Weigh to check out my kilos (weighin'), yeah-eah, yeah-eah

Hope my methods have worked, maybe I'll dare to open one of my eyes
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh
And down-tilt my neck to see if (ooh-oh) the stupid needle has jerked one side
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
I haven't heard the sound of creakin' plastic, good work (ay, ay)
Seems I'm not heavy enough to break the scales, should work (ay, ay)
But I won't take a peek yet, my confidence ain't high
Hence why I brought you along to hint if I am light

Weigh, must check on my kilos (on my kilos)
Weigh to check (yeah-eah, work) out my kilos (check my)
Weigh me now (weigh me now), weigh me now (weigh me now)
Weigh me now (weigh me now), oh-oh, weigh me now (weigh me now)
Weigh to check (weigh) out my kilos (oh-oh-ho-oh-oh-ooh-oh-ho-oh-oh), yeah-eah

My ass needs to be weighed (weighed), weighed (weighed)
Weighed, shut up and weigh me now so I can weigh you now (yeah-eah)
Also need to get weighed (oh yeah-eah-eah-eah), weighed (oh-oh, yeah-eah, yee-eah)
Weighed, I hate to weigh me now, sucks worse to weigh you now

Weigh, must check on my kilos (oh-oh-ho-oh-oh-ah-ah)
Weigh to check (weigh my ass now, jerk) out my kilos (weigh my ass now, jerk)
Weigh me now (weigh me now), weigh me now (oh-oh, weigh me now)
Weigh me now (you know you gotta weigh me now), oh-oh, weigh me now
Weigh to check (weigh my flabby ass now, jerk) out my kilos (yeah-eah-eah, yeah-eah-eah-eah), yeah-eah, yeah-eah

Weigh, oh-oh, weigh
Oh-oh, weigh, oh-oh, weigh, oh-oh, weigh, oh-oh, weigh my ass now, jerk (weigh my ass)
Weigh my ass now, weigh my ass now tonight, weigh my ass now, weigh my ass now tonight
Weigh my ass now, weigh my ass now, I need to learn it, learn it, learn it, learn it
Oh, weigh, oh, weigh, oh-oh, weigh, oh, weigh, oh, weigh, oh, weigh
Oh, weigh, oh-oh, weigh, oh-oh, weigh, ooh-ooh, oh, weigh, oh-oh, weigh, oh-oh, weigh, ooh-ooh
Tell me now, jerk

Can't really think about weighing oneself without thinking of Ed Byrne's take on bathroom scales: "I don't have a set, I don't want a set, but if someone else has a set, hold me back! Scales are very much like tits in that way."

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
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