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Song Parodies -> "Rude Clerks"

Original Song Title:

"Truth Hurts"

Original Performer:

Lizzo

Parody Song Title:

"Rude Clerks"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Run Away" self-challenge. You've heard of the phrase "The customer is always right", right? And the fact that it's often complete hogwash? Well, let us not forget that the inverse can and does apply...
Do you get paid for bein' a dick, mate?
Whoo!

I came here to buy a new vest, turns out
That 100% pure dicks are employed here, they're so lazy
When I got some questions, they're dismissive of me
Prices, wanna check 'em, but they're snobbish to me
"Oh, what, you can't afford it? There's the exit
Lemme check your bag first, bet you nicked it"
Sure, retail wears you down, it's hard to give a crap
Real diff'rence now between that and talkin' smack

Do you get paid for bein' a prick, mate (you're bein' a prick, mate)?
Upsets me when it's straight in my face (when it's straight in my face)
When it's said out the back, it's hard to care (can't hear, it's hard to care)
But to insinuate what I wear (ah-eeh-hee-eeh-eeh)
Means I don't have the cash to buy shit (no cash to buy shit)
Can't ban me because of that, don't try it (cause of that, don't try it)
Rude clerks, puttin' me off, might not buy shit (ah-yee-eeh-eeh-eeh-eeh-eeh)
Bom-bom, bidom, bidombombay (yeah-ee-yeah-eah-eah)

They're never gettin' off their behinds, slack off
I been searchin' for my items since the doors were unlocked
And they haven't done a damn thing except yell at me and mudsling
So I really, really, really, really, really doubt their feet sting
The store phone rings, I'm cringin'
They're not liftin' a finger to kill it
Gossipin' with their friends and not moppin' the spillage
That they made, not even' markin' for slippage

Do you get paid for bein' a dick, mate (you're bein' a dick, mate)?
Not much else that you're doin' today (that you're doin' today)
Except formin' a deep groove in that chair (a deep groove in that chair)
Not impressed with your customer care (ah-eeh-hee-eeh-eeh)
Store layout's not that good for findin' (not good for findin')
On top of that, the sheer mess is climbin' (the sheer mess is climbin')
Rude clerks claim I did it for low pricin' (ah-yee-eeh-eeh-eeh-eeh-eeh)
Bom-bom, bidom, bidombombay (yeah-ee-yeah-eah-eah)

Sorely tempted to simply ditch this (yeah-eah-yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Find a shop with nice assistants (real nice)
I don't have the time (no time) and I have the line (whoo!)
That'll get you shakin' like ay-ee-ay-ee-ay
Don't want to come off like a Karen (yeah-eah-yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
But you assholes must be managed (that's right)
There he is, now I (now I) shouldn't gloat, still might (whoo!)
He looks pissed, you're squirmin' like ay-ee-ay-ee-ay (whoo!)

"You don't get paid for bein' a prick, mate (you're bein' a prick, mate)
Don't give me your standard bull, okay (don't want your bull, okay)?
Go clean ev'ry messed up aisle until they're (clean 'em up until they're)
Spotless, then clean your locker, don't dare (ah-eeh-hee-eeh-eeh)
Claim your dad's the owner, you're lyin' (I know you're lyin')
I'll handle this sale myself, stop whinin' (shut your trap, stop whinin')"
Rude clerks put in their place, that I'm likin' (ah-yee-eeh-eeh-eeh-eeh-eeh)
Bom-bom, bidom, bidombombay (yeah-ee-yeah-eah-eah, eeh-hee-eeh-eeh)

Non-fatal smitin'
So hard to stop smilin'
Ah-yee-eeh-eeh-eeh-eeh-eeh, yeah-ee-yeah-eah-eah

This is why I do most of my shopping online. Oh, I tell a lie. I don't do enough shopping to quantify how much is done where and how.

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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

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