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Song Parodies -> "Deader Man"

Original Song Title:

"Better Man"

Original Performer:

Little Big Town

Parody Song Title:

"Deader Man"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

When will the slasher finally die? Either when the sequels stop making money...or when someone takes matters into their own hands.
You know, it's probably better to really know
That this nasty man will never go and still slash like a bandit
It may seem like permanent damage we've done, but see
I've seen the flicks, he'll be back before the credits start their flashin'
You may have shot him in the head but that's a puny pistol
Make sure he's in hell, if you can't, then I'll do it, you know
I won't be satisfied with just a gun

Let's try and make sure he'll never rise to kill people again
Point blank, won't miss you, I'll make this big dude's corpse a deader man
Think I just might take a chainsaw and slice him into many slabs
No-one will miss you, I'll super-kill you, want a deader man
A deader man

You know, it's probably better to really know
That he won't attack, he's out cold but I need a bit more convincin'
His type never get the word that skull-bullets mean to stay in the dirt
Need to be quite sure that he's minced, I don't want a resurrection
Until he's a smear, won't be restin' sound
I know y'all want to flee but that's sequel death bait now
He needs to be a paste (should be mush), won't let anyone bite the dust
Fine, part of this is for fun

But I need to make sure he won't rise to kill people again
Kind of an issue but I won't miss you, want a deader man
Think I just might take a crowbar and try to make ev'ry bone snap
No wet tissues 'cause I won't miss you, want a deader man
A deader man (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
A deader man (ooh-ooh-ooh)

It doesn't sound that nice, this fresh-corpse-desecration plan
But I would still rather check that he has really breathed his last
Breathed in his last
This dick should be a deader man
Won't have him pull out somebody's lungs 'cause he's not a deader man
Or carve lines in my buns 'cause he's not a deader man
So pass me your shotgun 'cause he's not a deader man
Yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah

Don't like the whole "surely he's dead" shite, he will come kill again
Unless his tissues are ground to shit, dude, want a deader man
Think I just might see if my dad won't mind a full-body belt sand
I might have flipped? True, but that's my issue, want a deader man

I might still have my mum if he was a deader man
Deader man

She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
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