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Song Parodies -> "Hard out Here for a Witch"

Original Song Title:

"Hard out Here"

Original Performer:

Lily Allen

Parody Song Title:

"Hard out Here for a Witch"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Pretty self-explanatory title, I feel.
I suppose I should tell you what this witch is thinkin'
I'm busy watchin' videos, not fuelin' suspicions
Don't keep a black cat on my porch, familiars are lame
They never do what you want to, such a giveaway
Of the magician that's behind the door I keep shut
Cause if you lot knew where the witch is, you would never give up
Tryin' to look at my face to see how green is the shade
And if my nose looks like a pointy Star Trek alien face

Sometimes I wish I had a curse to say
But with the loopholes, they're a big ol' waste
I don't wear the hat, that low-poly tit
It's hard, it's hard, it's hard out here for a witch
It's hard for a witch, for a witch
For a witch, it's hard, it's hard out here for a witch
It's hard for a witch, for a witch
For a witch, it's hard, it's hard out here

I cannot cook for shit, no need for a cauldron
So stop sendin' me newt eyes or toes that were froggin'
"Not a word" I hear you say, you have a point, you know
I'm not good at spells that make me remember long-ass tomes
Yes, the Honda there is mine, you ever flown on a broom?
You get splinters in your butt while givin' the pervs a view
Can still do magic real good, in fact, I'll turn you to wood
Since "my name's not Hermione" was somehow not understood

One more surprise with a hose water spray
Then I will have to rearrange your face
Either with magic or just with my fists
It's hard, it's hard, it's hard out here for a witch
It's hard for a witch, for a witch
For a witch, it's hard, it's hard out here for a witch
It's hard for a witch, for a witch
For a witch, it's hard, it's hard out here

A witch, a witch, a witch, witch, witch, witch
A witch, a witch, a witch, witch, witch, ahh
W-w-wi-witch, witch, a witch, w-w-wi-witch, witch, witch, witch, witch
W-w-wi-witch, witch, a witch, w-w-wi-witch, witch, witch

Got a wand, but it's honestly not my favoured way
Tips the hand that you're castin' and there goes the whole damn game
Ditched the wand, now it's covered in the dust of decades
Prefer hand gestures, flash one, now you're a small garter snake

Wish you would only ask the time of day
Instead of askin' if I weigh the same
As a duck, holy crap, I'm sick of this
It's hard, it's hard, it's hard out here for a witch
It's hard for a witch, for a witch
For a witch, it's hard, it's hard out here for a witch
It's hard for a witch, for a witch
For a witch, it's hard, it's hard out here

Witch, a witch (it's hard), a witch (for a witch, for a witch), a witch, witch, witch, witch
For a witch (a witch), it's hard (a witch), it's hard out here for a witch
A witch (it's hard), a witch (for a witch, for a witch), a witch, witch, witch, witch
For a witch (a witch), it's hard (a witch), it's hard out here
Witch

Witch.

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