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Song Parodies -> "No Commando"

Original Song Title:

"Alejandro"

Original Performer:

Lady Gaga

Parody Song Title:

"No Commando"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

When "come on, you gotta try it" meets "potential indecent exposure"...
I know for you it's fun and I know it might feel lovely
But I just can't-a see myself with no private drawers
No commando

Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh

I won't be that guy, won't stop it
If air and extra room down there's what you want
Go 'head, free ball, that won't be me, though
I'd rather keep both eggs and pickle in that rude cloth
Problems I'd rather avoid, lots of nerves based in one's groin
All my pants have zippers, "Screw that!"'s what I choose

Don't want the pain, don't want the pain, no commando
Won't be my way, won't be my way, I'll pass, bro
One hasty zip or one misjudged sit-down and there'll be no fun
I will abstain, I will abstain, won't hurt those
No commando, no commando
I won't go commando, I won't go commando
No commando, no commando
I won't go commando, I won't go commando

Stop, please, I have said "No"
No commando, I'll never go

Were you hopin' that I was crazy?
Think I've made it real clear that I'll keep my nads
Wrapped, so stop, man, your insistence
That if I just went and tried it, it would be rad
Even though I've made my choice, you refuse to just avoid
And talk about other stupid things to do

I've made it plain, I've made it plain: no commando
Don't wanna chafe, don't wanna chafe, I'll pass, bro
Whether in denim jeans or not, it's a sensation I don't want
So shut your face, so shut your face, won't hurt those
No commando, no commando
I won't go commando, I won't go commando
No commando, no commando
I won't go commando, I won't go commando

It's not for me, it's not for me, no commando
Does not sound great, does not sound great, so I'll pass, bro
My parts are safe, my parts are safe, no commando
Must you insist upon my nuts? I'll pass, bro
Just go away, just go away, no commando
Set in your ways, set in your ways, I'll pass, bro
Bein' a dick, won't take that pun back 'cause you're drivin' me so nuts
I'll keep mine safe, I'll keep mine safe, won't hurt those

No commando, no commando
I won't go commando, I won't go commando
No commando, no commando
I won't go commando, I won't go commando (please shut your face)
No commando (please shut your face), no commando (no commando, bein' a pain)
I won't go commando (bein' a pain), I won't go commando (I'll pass, bro, won't let it swing)
No commando (it's cold as butts), no commando (and when it's hot, I sweat a ton, want that contained)
I won't go commando (want that contained), I won't go commando (won't hurt those)
No commando

Actually, now that I've written the top comment after the parody, I notice another flaw to going commando that I could've put in: what happens when your belt gives out? You need to give warning before an appearance by Mister Happy, I feel...

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   14
 14
 14
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Peregrin - August 15, 2022 - Report this comment
Back making a guest appearance Conq. Saw the OS and the title and thought ah yeah, there's an obvious sub! Well done for doing it first! As for your last comment, whose belt ever gives out!?!
bobpiecheese - August 15, 2022 - Report this comment
Given how I recently had to replace my belt because it had worn out, I consider it a possibility that it could happen to someone else. Hope you enjoyed the way I used the title first!

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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