Yes, I'm a doc, don't call me "Doc"
"Doc" is for when you're payin'
Cause right now I'm off the fig'rative clock
That's when my brain's on a vacation
No, I don't care if your back's sore
Might be friends, but I don't do freebies, you arse
Yes, I'm a doc, don't call me "Doc"
That's for when you start payin', yeah

It's late at night, readin' Rankin by lamp's light
I'm not in the mood for a call
Still you ring and whine, not for some friendly advice
A big list of pills, that's what you want
Oh, I'm not happy 'bout it
Not hard to show up
To my clinic, try it

Yes, I'm a doc, don't call me "Doc" (oh-oh-oh)
"Doc" is for when I'm workin'
But when I have clocked out, that bullshit stops (yeah-eah)
Can't say I'm a slob or I'm shirkin' (no)
Your "That's not fair, we've been friends for
Five years, help me" whine doesn't pull at my heart
Yes, I'm a doc, don't call me "Doc"
Can't apply, I'm not workin', oh-oh, nah

Get that you hate it when the bill is huge
Can't prescribe jack, the stethoscope's off
Cause it's not okay by the lawbook, mate
Although even if it was
Oh-oh-oh, I'd tell you to cram it
Right up your rear hole
So stop askin' 'bout it

Yes, I'm a doc (oh-oh), don't call me "Doc" (now)
"Doc" is for when I'm coated (nah-ah-ah-ah-ho-oh)
You're pissin' me off (ho-oh, mmm-mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm), illegal and wrong (yeah-eah-eah)
Is that what you want? I'm revolted (na-ah, ho-oh)
You want my care? Then just wait for
9 o'clock to 5, then I can test your parts
Yes, I'm a doc (whoo), don't call me "Doc"
Wait for when I'm lab-coated

Can't help you, I'm not coated