Song Parodies -> "Tick Tock (Jewish Grandmother Remix)"

Original Song Title:

"Tick Tock"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Tick Tock (Jewish Grandmother Remix)"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Imagine if Kesha, that train wreck who personifies the current downfall of civilization, was a 75-year-old Jewish grandmother living in Boca Raton, Florida. Her big hit, Tick Tock (view the OS, if you dare: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iP6XpLQM2Cs), might go something like this...

Wake up every morning smelling like my granny
Poppin' Coumadin pills all day as if they were candy
Every night I soak my teeth in a bottle of Schnapps
'Cause when I put on my Depends, you don't need mops

I'm seeing specialists for my back, back
Medicare gives me flak, flak
My kids never call my phone, phone
I'm always calling my favorite MDs
Hangin' with Lou and Meyer
Sometimes I get a little bit tired

Must stop, take a break
You know how my legs ache
Tonight, I'mma sleep
And I'll shuffle my feet
Tick Tock on the clock
'Cause this chair I'm gonna rock, yeah

Oy-oy oy-oy
Oy-oy oy-oy

Oy vey, what'd you say?
I have lost my hearing aid
My kids never write
I am losing some height
Tick Tock on the clock
I can't hear when you knock, no

Oy-oy oy-oy
Oy-oy oy-oy

I have a car I can't drive, but I've got me a cane
Got a hot game of Canasta, and that's not a big strain
It's not so easy to keep balance; how can I swagger?
But take my walker from me, and I will probably stagger

I'm taking medicine for my joints, joints,
Having numerous doc appoint-ments
And the early bird special awaits, waits

Now, now, I wear orthopedic shoes, shoes
At Bingo I never lose, lose
Bingo I never lose, lose
B-6? I WON!

Must stop, go and shop
Coupons saving me big bucks
My hair, it is white
Have trouble with my sight
Tick Tock on the clock
And my furniture's schlock

Oy-oy oy-oy
Oy-oy oy-oy

I walk very slow
And I shuffle to and fro
My best friend is Flo
Meet her husband. He's Mo
Tick Tock on the clock
Time to see another doc-tor

Oy-oy oy-oy
Oy-oy oy-oy

Doctor, my back's in pain
My vision's bad
I cannot hear
My knees are numb

Arthritis strikes
I sit at home
My kids don't write
Doc, What's with that?

Doctor, I won't complain
If you don't mind
Prescribe a pill
For peace of mind

I'm really good
At Jewish guilt
At Jewish guilt...

If the light bulb isn't on, I'll sit in the dark

In pain, won't complain
Cataracts make me insane
Tonight I'm in bed
But at least I'm not dead
Tick tock on the clock
My pacemaker won't stop, no

Oy-oy oy-oy
Oy-oy oy-oy

Oy vey, it's not fair
Must fight with medicare
My finances? No
Madoff took off with my dough
Tick Tock on the clock
I will sit at home and sew

Oy-oy oy-oy
Oy-oy oy-oy

Parody lyrics by Mason "The parody doesn't start until I hit 'send' " Resnick

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UnKnownVotrice - June 22, 2010 - Report this comment

~ ~ G O T M I C E ~ ~ sir ?

Christie Marie M - June 22, 2010 - Report this comment

Nice to see you writing again and welcome back, Mason! Great take on a hard OS and yeah, you stated some points on being old as well!

MasonR - June 23, 2010 - Report this comment

Thanks, Christine and hey Votrice, why dontcha vote, mam? Honestly, one of the reasons I don't post here so much any more is there seems to be a lot less traffic/feedback these days.

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