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Song Parodies -> "Emissary Puncher"

Original Song Title:

"Legendary Lovers"

Original Performer:

Katy Perry

Parody Song Title:

"Emissary Puncher"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Important lesson in life: don't shoot the messenger!
A message of your doom from the Dark Emperor
Didn't want to tell you, my ruler
That look you're givin' me, I'm feelin' awkward
As if you're blamin' me, that's not what I
Signed on for when I first became a messenger, so those furrowed eyes
Are real concernin', so I think that I'd better head right back outside
Cause I know the gut reaction is to get real violent on my hide
Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh

Only brought you the letter
Writer wasn't me, not that dumb
Let my face stay un-hit, sir
Because that won't help anyone
Emissary puncher
Don't hurt the emissary, la-la-la-la-la
Emissary puncher
Don't hit the emissary, la-la-la-la-la

The worst delivery that I've made ever
Bringin' such misery, I'd never
Have read this thing out loud if I had read ahead
Would've made somethin' up, but right now I
Can see your fist clenchin', hopin' to break my nose or blacken my eye
Pretty sure all that will do is cause your highness to be vilified
And that would damper your likely call to all to enlist up to fight
Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh

Might've read out the letter
But I'm not the author, I'm not
It won't make things get better
You'll only prove your temper's hot
Emissary puncher
Don't hurt the emissary, la-la-la-la-la
Emissary puncher
Don't hit the emissary, la-la-la-la-la

Ah-ooh!
Hoo!
Ah-ooh! Not good now
Hoo!
Ah-ooh (emissary puncher)!
Hoo (emissary puncher)!
Ah-ooh (emissary puncher)!
Hoo!

Oh, might have to do a runner
Before you stand up and then thwock
Man, I'd hate to get thumped, sir
Would be hard to then do my job
Emissary puncher
Don't hurt the emissary, la-la-la-la-la
Emissary puncher (emissary puncher)
Don't hit the emissary, la-la-la-la-la
Ohoh, just read out this bad letter
I don't see why I should get punched (I don't see, why punch?)
Cause your rage won't get lesser
When you knock me out with a thump (oh-oh, hate)
Emissary puncher
Don't hurt the emissary, la-la-la-la-la
Emissary puncher
Don't hit the emissary, la-la-la-la-la
Ah-ooh!

I swear "emissary" looks both correctly and incorrectly spelled. English, man. Does your head in.

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