I'm kind of reluctant to board that jet
Because I know some arsehole will scream off his head
It seems his meal on the plane did no-ot have his fave food
If his head was any thicker, those facepalms he'd do
Would cause a huge fracture in his wrist, it's true
Arsehole, first class, this ain't, you-ou're bein' a douche

Ev'ry single ti-ime I try to tra-averse
There's a high e-encou-ounter rate of e-ev'ry kind of jerk
Simple reason why-y I prefer to-o stay
I rather would abstai-ain from all those dou-ouchebags on the plane
Those dou-ouchebags on the plane

All these rude, obnoxious, moronic twats
Wanna change the in-flight movie, I don't think that's
Possible, I'm not sure, but I-I know what's not on, ooh-whoa-oh
Is snappin' your fingers like some rich dude
With some servants who know what you
Mean without real instructions, this ai-ain't your mansion, douche

Seems ev'ry single ti-ime I go round the-e world
There's a friggi-in' su-urplus of tota-al arrogant jerks
Don't have to ask why-y I prefer to-o sta-ay
When I've told you the ta-ales of all these dou-ouchebags on the plane
Those dou-ouchebags on the plane
A dou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ouche
Big dou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ouche
Huge dou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ouche
Those dou-ouchebags on the plane

Then there's all the mothers with their da-amn babies, it blo-o-ows
If you tell them that their darli-in' screams, they blo-o-o-o-ow
They'll yell at you 'bout how you hate ba-abies, ooh-whoa-oh-oh-oh
All I want's so-ome shu-ut-eye

Ev'ry bloody ti-ime, my brain finds mo-ore hurt
Dealin' with e-enti-itled shits who thi-ink they rule the wo-o-orld
I don't want to fly-y-y, on the ground, I-I'll stay
So I don't have to la-ay next to these dou-ouchebags on the pla-ane
Those dou-ouchebags on the-e pla-a-a-ane
A dou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ouche (a dou-ou-ou-ouche)
Big dou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ouche (a dou-ou-ou-ouche)
Huge dou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ouche (a dou-ouche)
Somethin' in the sky-y just brings out the-e stai-ai-ains
In humanity, ha-ate them, all these dou-ouchebags on the pla-ane
Those dou-ouchebags on the plane