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Song Parodies -> "Golf Course"

Original Song Title:

"Dark Horse"

Original Performer:

Katy Perry

Parody Song Title:

"Golf Course"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Part of my "Do What You Wanna Do" self-challenge. Dude's not a fan of golf. Like, at all. Enjoy!
Oh, no

This sport ain't my thing
I can barely
Friggin' aim, uh-uh
It's lame

Can't make it wo-ork
Always seem to hit a tree
This game is a-arse
Got another double bogey
And I-I-I-I don't know which club makes the best swing
Why can't they be the same damn thing?
Why's it so complicated?
Golf's so damn overrated
It blo-o-ows, sure ain't the sport for me
It's not for me, sure not for me

Look at my scorecard, it's tragic
Got seventeen when the par is fou-our
Don't even know why I do this
When it's clear I'm failin' on this golf cou-ourse
So I'm screamin' "Four", screamin' "Four"
The ball it soars, ball it soars
In a straight line, a straight line
Into the sand trap

My back hu-urts
From whackin' this dumb ball all day
Usin' wo-ords
That won't get radio play
This ball's a je-erk
In the sand it wants to stay, that's not okay
"Just use the sand wedge" thanks a lot, caddy
Lost it a while ago, so clam it
And not becau-ause I thought it was a useless thing
'Twas slipp'ry, sweat when I'm stressed, see-ee-ee

Sayin' that I'm far too manic
It's just a game, what's the swearin' for?
I know that, but it's still stupid
So I'm far from happy on this golf cou-ourse
I'm still screamin' "Four", screamin' "Four"
Now the ball soars, now it soars
From sand it flies, sand it flies (you're kiddin')
Into the lake, crap (uh)

Friggin' trees, my balls, they stop 'em (hate that)
If I had an axe, lop this whole forest (woo)
If you're thinkin' "don't aim for 'em" stop (mm-mm)
I'm not, that's why I'm annoyed
My aim's that friggin' off
The wind's not helpin' that much either (either)
Goin' on and off like a loose lever (lever)
If this was a game, wouldn't be as hard
The wind would have a meter (meter)
Instead I'm just guessin' though I don't know why I bother
I'm not entered in a tourney
I'm here by choice, which is bogus (woo)
Man, I'm such a sucker
I'm payin' out the ass just to be here
And I'm not havin' fun, hell no, sir
Rather stick pencils in my ear (both ears)
And though I really suck
There's a way it could be more shitty
That would be if I go
And play that golf that's known as mini

Cause those places are so tacky
Real golf has beautiful views galo-ore (by the sco-ore)
Colour schemes are always putrid
So glad I'm not at a mini-golf cou-ourse (mini-golf cou-ou-ou-ourse)
They've got crap decor, crap decor (bad deco-or)
So cramped, for sure, that's for sure (they're cramped, for su-ure)
And I can't lie, cannot lie (li-i-ie)
I'd prefer the sand

I only have one problem with this song, other much better Katy Perry songs aside: the title makes no sense. A dark horse is a little-known person or thing that emerges to prominence, as Wikipedia puts it, how does that relate to the song's "I'm a super-hot witch who will melt your face if you cross me" message? It's because it sounded cool, didn't it? That or "dark horse" is more like Shadowmere from the Elder Scrolls games. Whatever floats your boat.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   2
 4   1
 5   3

User Comments

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E Woods - February 20, 2015 - Report this comment
This seems to be about my golf game. If par is a four, you get bogeys for this one.
Matthias - June 10, 2016 - Report this comment
Golf parodies are always more fun than actually playing golf although unlike your character I prefer Mini Golf to regular Golf. ⛳
Agrimorfee - June 18, 2016 - Report this comment
I'm with Matthias, too.
Abbott Skelding - June 20, 2016 - Report this comment
I don't like to watch golf on TV, but I think it's fun to play (even if I only do it like twice a year). I like the OS (but not my favorite Katy song), but you did a solid job with this one. Well done!

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