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Song Parodies -> "Night Drives Suck"

Original Song Title:

"Eyes Wide Shut"

Original Performer:

JLS ft. Tinie Tempah

Parody Song Title:

"Night Drives Suck"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

It's been a while since I've had a good "things I hate while driving" rant. And as the days get shorter (in my neck of the woods, anyway), I'm coming to realise: I hate driving at night!
If there is one thing that I know to be true
Is that I loathe to drive post-afternoon
When visibility becomes limited
I get in more accidents than I want to, than I want to

Yeah-eah, yeah-ee-ee-yeah-eah

Not sure what I'm seein', 'cause my eyes are bleedin'
Bri-i-i-ight lights in the dark boost pain up
Which'll send me careenin' off the road, I'm feelin'
Feelin's strong that night drives suck
I wish the sun could stay up, stay up, stay up
Little more, please stay up, stay up, stay up
'Cause you aid in my seein' so nothin' is bleedin'
Bleedin' because night drives suck

There are times that I wish that I
Lived out in the country with less car and street lights
You'd think darkness would be more a pain
But it's the contrast there that constantly stops me
Drivin' all smooth, drivin' all smooth

Oh-oh, I rock when the damn sun stays up

Don't know what I'm seein' besides headlights beamin'
I-I-I-I need more than that to change up
What lane I'm in, I'm seethin' at that asshole beepin'
Beepin' hard, these night drives suck
Why can't the damn sun stay up, stay up, stay up?
Little longer, stay up, stay up, stay up
Street name signs, I'm not seein' (can't see shit) though they're what I'm needin' (hidden bastards)
Needin' sun, these night drives suck (let's go, chyeah)

Night time's for horror movies and bed (so)
Really exacerbates how mad I get
When folks can't drive the limit
Or fail to indicate or turn like shit
Yeah, it's a damn shame (yeah)
That so many people think it's fine to slam the brakes (haha)
Hate, in bright light I can tell the fail's now on
Not now, night drives suck

Can't see all of your car there, a bare flash isn't fair
Say yeah, say yeah, yeah, yeah
And to those with no lights, crown you Asshole On High
Say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (let's go)

This blows, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
I wish I was sleepin'

I'm so close to dreamin' but that means bad wheelin' (real bad wheel jerks)
Ri-i-i-ight into the back of that truck
Man, this isn't appealin', you should get my feelin' (feelin')
Feelin' that these night drives suck
I'm good while the sun stays up (there), stays up (there), stays up (there)
Drive great while it stays up (there), stays up (there), stays up
But when darkness is creepin', wanna be soon leavin'
Leave the road, these night drives suck (oh, no, no, no)

I don't wanna be out there, can't see crap-all, ain't fair
Say yeah (yeah), say yeah, yeah, yeah
And to those with your brights on, jump up your behind
Say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

It's a good thing I only really drive at night for reasons of fast food, which is rarely farther than 20 minutes from where I live. Really condenses the bullshit into a more manageable time period.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

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User Comments

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Peter - June 11, 2020 - Report this comment
OK Boomer! ;-)

No Mom, that wasn't meant to you!

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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