Oh-oh-oh

Thought the fuzz would never find me out
They fingered me, not that way, you sleaze
And now it's time for what I worried 'bout if they put the cuffs on me
Stigma of bein' "some thug"? I can make that sound awesome
Prison-standard jumpsuit? I can make it work
Don't care about what food jail has now
Way before the clink's where I freak out
Yeah
Slammer's not the place I'm worried 'bout
Yeah, yeah, yeah (please not this), yeah

Hate when they take mugshots, never turn out
In a manner vaguely photogenic
Can't choose between a frown or a calm face now
And so I panic and look like a dumb clown
Don't really know if I should smile
Like in my ID, but I can't ask outright
Cause this is a mugshot, this isn't school photo time (uh)
This whole thing's a crime

Some people think this would be a deterrent for the next time I steal
The next time I steal
But with each bag of money that I take
The thought's concealed, deeply concealed
Disaster, thought I dodged the coppers
Now I'm here mopin' about my stupid face
Gonna look so goofy, can't I wear a mask?
What do you mean that kills the point of it?

I'm so scared of mugshots, mine will turn out (lame)
Lookin' like I was just takin' the piss (oh-oh-ooh-oh-ooh-oh-oh)
Twistin' my eyes and mouth, didn't mean to now (didn't mean to now)
Or at least I'll sneeze when the button's clicked down (oh)
It's not a joke (not a joke), each time I try (when I try)
To not look a twit, but it's still a sad sight
Can't look at my mugshot (mugshot), it sucks, keeps me up at night (uh)
Burned into my mind
I-ee-I (oh-oh-ooh), I-ee-I (oh-oh-ooh), I-ee-I
It's burned in my mind
I-ee-I (oh-oh-ooh), I-ee-I (oh, yeah), I-ee-I
Burned into my mind

Could say as evidence, they're refutable cause of my poor face-freeze
But to me it's just embarrassin', now all the rep I receive
Is "the dude who's face spasmed", they'll laugh at me
Go like ha-ha-ha...h-ha-ha-ha
Cause criminals are the biggest of dicks (eh-eah-ee)
Won't care about all the crimes I commit (yeah-eah)
They'll focus on my poorly-timed facial tic (yeah-ee-yeah-heah)

I ruin my mugshots, it brings me down
Heard they're somethin' that the cops all collect (heard that all the coppers collect)
This one, the slat dropped down (he-ey), that one, blurs all 'round
And the side view was when I slipped on the ground
Prepared for jokes (stupid jokes) in the jail line (prison line)
I'd prefer a shiv, they make think it's more nice (oh-oh-oh, may be more nice)
To just mock my mugshots, it's not, I wish I could die (uh)
Worst pics of all time
Won't live it down, alright (I-ee-I), face is red all the time (I-ee-I)
Cause my pictures are shite (I-ee-I)
Worst shots of all time
I-ee-I (mugshots), I-ee-I (are crap), I-ee-I (pure shite)
Worst pics of all time