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Song Parodies -> "Link's Dead"

Original Song Title:

"King's Dead"

Original Performer:

Jay Rock, Kendrick Lamar, Future & James Blake

Parody Song Title:

"Link's Dead"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Dude's having a little problem with his vidya games...
Okay, that was bullshit (bullshit)
Thought I'd honed my skills to the fullest (the fullest)
I guess I know less than a tourist (a tourist)
Another stupid death for the green kid (the green kid)
I'm now one fairy less, really need it (I need it)
Love instant restoration, but my weekend (my weekend)
Is gonna go on for way too damn long (way too long)
'Cause I'm not so strong at this game, I've lost (one more loss)

I don't like that, really pissed
Do I need more strength to proceed? No, I don't like that, really pissed
Slammin' buttons, but they do nothin', foes won't die fast, really pissed
Come on, die fast, really pissed, I'll still slice at it, really pissed
I'm comin' for ya, I'm gonna stab ya, watch me, I'll sword ya
Wait, maybe bomb you, what's the solution? I don't know it
I'm dead once more, need more life-ups or it's hopeless
Hard to get to where the Heart Containers are, it's bogus
Bow is ready, my whip is ready, my bombs are ready, my 'rang is ready
My slingshot's ready, my magic's ready, my sword? I've got the Master Sword one
Yet for monsters, I'm not ready, all of these monsters are so heavy
I'm tryin' to kill 'em, I'm tryin' to kill 'em, I'm tryin' to kill 'em, I'm tryin' to kill 'em
But they keep stompin', my head, they're stompin', my ass, they're stompin', I hate their stompin'
I've used Din's Fire and still they're stompin', some Nayru's Love and still they're stompin'
I should be ready, I know I'm ready, I've played all day, that sounds pathetic
But I cannot kill 'em, but I cannot kill 'em, but I cannot kill 'em, but I cannot kill 'em, skrrt

All these deaths are bullshit (bullshit)
Buttons, I have pressed 'em to the fullest (the fullest)
Swear I pressed it down, swear I pressed it down
But I guess the damn game never received it (should receive it)
It should have proper function, kinda need it (man, I need it)
I'm gonna check the console, swear I cleaned it (swear I cleaned it)
Is it a cartridge or a disc? Oh, yeah-eah
This has been my life for the whole weekend
Did I just miss an upgrade? I might need it (might just need it)
Both in and out of game, I have to beat this (have to beat this)
Wait, a minigame just to get it? Eat it

Blah-dee-blah-dee-blah, not gonna slog
Through all that shit right now, they're too hard
Blah-dee-blah-dee-blah, description's too long
Such a load of crap, clock runs down too fast
My death count will grow if I put myself through that

Yeah, sick of all this bullshit (bullshit)
Bringin' all my rage to the fullest (the fullest)
Flittin' all around like a tourist (a tourist)
See if I can work out how to beat this (can't beat this)
My partner can't help out, a vague eejit (vague eejit)
I know that this will take another weekend (whole weekend)
Start another slog with a dungeon crawl (dungeon crawl)
Wonderin' how long this'll take, real long (bet real long)

Hate this
Supposed to do somethin'
Don't know what

Link dies, retry, Link dies, retry
Link dies, retry, I'm like "Ask why I suck"
Fail puzzles each time, not fun
Blocks, I'm shiftin' in positions real wrong
No warrior nor am I a scholar but I'm still not quittin'
I'll be stickin' until I do get it
Trapped in 'til I matchstick lanterns with a damn stick
While a roar in the background make me pants-shit
There's a huge damn hand 'round, he'll be grabbin'
Onto my belt, hope I can start stabbin'
If he's grabbin', then he's draggin' both our asses
To the start right now, I can't stand this
Really mad, this is a huge joke, can't be like
"Nope" 'cause I'm, like, screwed now, screwed now (yeah, suck)
Restart the game? I'm not gonna, not gonna
Real hard to play, a fresh start makes me lost then dead
Still play 'cause I'm bored, still play though I'm shit
Suck at solvin' these, suck at killin' these, suck at stealthin', suck at puzzles
Suck at timin', suck at swordplay, suck with lives
Suck at stabs, suck at bombin', suck at findin' all kinds
Lost my money, lost my arrows, lost slingshot seeds, lost my magic
Lost my sticks and lost my nuts and lost the plot threads, lots of panic
Swear that normally I'm awesome at adventures, but I'm feelin'
That this randomiser's got me at a crazy lower level
I've reverted to a teenager who's first startin' Zelda
Link dies, retry, Link dies, retry
Link dies, retry, I'm like "That's why I suck"

First of three songs from the Black Panther soundtrack I have in my list...so happy I've got the worst one out of the way first. Friggin' Future...

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Total Votes: 2

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