Don't have to love ancient history digs
To have heard of the story that I'll tell to you
Gets ref'renced often, from old Monty Python bits
To Red Dwarf to a computer virus, it's true
A group of soldiers were hidden inside
A horse twenty five feet tall, least that's what folks assume
Looked through rubble for the widest gate left
And extrapolated but I'm sure the details, they bore you
Who needs all that?

Oh, 'cause the nastiest surprise came out at night
Soldiers sliced guys up nice
Impenetrable Troy? Dude, no longer true
That whole war was closed that night
Bet it seemed like a long shot to the big knobs
But it somehow turned out fine
In hindsight, it looks insane
That the Trojan Horse worked great

Inside that horse must've smelled like the pits
40 pairs of 'em squeezed into a massive steed
All in full armour, wait, hang on a bit
How did they quietly sit in all their seats?
'Cause it would be a bumpy-ass ride
To drag that inside the big fort, it's true
No metal clanks to give the game away?
Hell, the extra weight should've raised up an eyebrow or two
But I can't be mad

Oh, 'cause I think of how their eyes became so wide
Soon as night-time came by
And the Athena tribute the Greeks left you
Still had tons of them inside
Could they register that shock in time? Bet not
Couldn't yell or burn a light
As a story, it's a fave
How the Trojan Horse worked great

Tale works, great fun
Aware that it's fake as shit
I know it's bunk

Oh, as a tactic, it's airtight, least you'd think, right
That inside's tight, air's slight
But it does need your foes to have a screw loose
And not think to check inside
But if you can pull it off and cut heads off
That tale's worth a lot of wine
Such a legendary play
Man, the Trojan Horse worked great