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Song Parodies -> "That's Not Unfair"
Original Song Title:
"Is There Somewhere"
Original Performer:
Halsey
Parody Song Title:
"That's Not Unfair"
Parody Written by:
the_conqueror_of_parodies
The Lyrics
I know it hasn't been long since my last DnD parody but since my new campaign finally started up (after a false start where we all died), it's been on the brain a bit. Anyway, whiny players, let's go!
I don't like entitled assholes at my table, dude
You need to find you some other guy
Who will be the real pushover you thought I was from exposure
To how I said "I don't like party kills"
Heard me just fine, no repeat is needed, I
Hate when the whole campaign fails to begin
But that doesn't mean it will be easy (ho-oh-oh)
And I can just roll well, that's why I never use the screen
Been trying not to let it show but I just cannot let it go
That's not unfair, how things should be
Standard spell effects, no nonsense scaling (ho-oh-oh)
One botched save is not "the DM whaling (oh-oh-oh)
Out death on ev'rybody", a weird take on this scene
Not fighting Tiamat, geez, y'all are only level three
I am showing restraint unlike what you have claimed (ho-oh-oh)
Seems you've got incompatible aims with the way I run my games (oh-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)
Ho-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh
If past DMs had not been very nice
Sicced six Tarrasques on you and fudged their dice
Then I could understand the reason why
You lash out at each thing I've done
But as you've told me very loud each time
This is your first game, I could sympathise
But calling the whole table's spreading lies?
Out for this game, you're just not cut
You need to find you some other guy
Who will be the real pushover you thought I was from exposure
To how I said "I don't like party kills"
Heard me just fine, no repeat is needed, I
Hate when the whole campaign fails to begin
But that doesn't mean it will be easy (ho-oh-oh)
And I can just roll well, that's why I never use the screen
Been trying not to let it show but I just cannot let it go
That's not unfair, how things should be
Standard spell effects, no nonsense scaling (ho-oh-oh)
One botched save is not "the DM whaling (oh-oh-oh)
Out death on ev'rybody", a weird take on this scene
Not fighting Tiamat, geez, y'all are only level three
I am showing restraint unlike what you have claimed (ho-oh-oh)
Seems you've got incompatible aims with the way I run my games (oh-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)
Ho-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh
If past DMs had not been very nice
Sicced six Tarrasques on you and fudged their dice
Then I could understand the reason why
You lash out at each thing I've done
But as you've told me very loud each time
This is your first game, I could sympathise
But calling the whole table's spreading lies?
Out for this game, you're just not cut
This song feels like Halsey wrote down a bunch of verses but forgot to write a chorus and came down with a case of "it's not a deadline crunch, it's artistic"...itis. I dunno, it works, but still.
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| 5 | 15 | 15 | 15 |
User Comments
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I don't know if she forgot about writing a chorus, but the song definitely has an unusual structure to it. I get the sense that the last two four-line sets were originally intended to be a chorus. The lines were shorter and more like each other than the other lines in the song. I like the way you used her repetition as justification to extend your story. I must confess that I'm not familiar with DnD. So my comments are limited to the technical aspects of parody. OS has only one near rhyme and no pure rhymes, not counting the repetition of "tonight" toward the end. (railings-ailing). You matched that with scaling-whaling, and added lies-sympathize a verse later. Your syllable count is flawless as is your accent pattern. I'm glad you posted this. Thank you. 555
Cheers for the feedback, GW, in particular the note about the accent pattern - being an Australian writing parodies for a mostly American audience is trickier than one would thing. I, for example, would say that "hard" and "pass" have the same vowel sound. Not exactly the case for you, I'd wager!
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