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Song Parodies -> "Paddle"

Original Song Title:

"Castle"

Original Performer:

Halsey

Parody Song Title:

"Paddle"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

I wonder about the history of common sayings a lot. Thankfully I haven't landed smack-dab in Irony Central like this poor schmuck...
Heard that stupid phrase so often, just made me annoyed
It cannot be a thing that happens, everyone avoids
Cruisin' down a river wide without two flat sticks to shove it
At least you'd think so but now I've somehow managed, my, what a dumbshit

Someone save me, someone save me
Someone save me, someone save me

I'm up a creek with no paddle, my boat is gonna careen
Far from where I was fishin', all these words I'm sayin' are a bit beyond PG-13
I'm up a creek with no paddle, I'm feelin' totally dumb
All of my life been bitchin' 'bout what folks are sayin', now I'm gonna look an absolute putz
Creek with no paddle

Oh-ooh, I swear that I had 'em though they served no use
For most of my trip, one splash out, one splash back, just two
And then the rest of the time, all I do is sit, don't doubt it
But I still filled up on supplies, so I don't know why, it's confoundin'

Someone save me (why, it's confoundin'), someone save me (w-w-why, it's confoundin')
Someone save me (why, why, why, it's confoundin'), someone save me (-foundin', -foundin', -foundi-i-i-in')

I'm up a creek with no paddle, there's no way that that should be
The damn things should be sittin' at the bottom, layin' chill next to my bait and other feed
I'm up a creek with no paddle, where in the hell have they gone?
You'd best believe I'm flippin' out and panic-flailin' my not-thick-enough-to-work-for-shit rod
Creek with no paddle

There's no point tryin' to doubt it, I'm livin' live what I've doubted
And now I find my heart poundin' tryin' to find 'em, I'm flound'rin' (find 'em, can't find 'em, can't find 'em, can't find)

I'm up a creek with no paddle, don't wanna go with the stream
'Cause it's the wrong direction from where my car's layin' and there's not one bar on my phone's screen
I'm up a creek with no paddle, tempted to blame termites but
Why would they only nibble on 'em and then stay away from the whole goddamn boat? Sense made: none
Creek with no paddle, I really hate that it's me
Because if someone diff'rent was stuck in here flailin', I would prob'bly be a little mean
I'm up a creek with no paddle, the situation here sucks
Gonna be hard admittin' to whoever's savin' my ass 'cause I know they're gonna make fun
Creek with no paddle

Feels kinda weird referencing a rating that doesn't exist in my country (our film ratings go G, PG, M, MA then R) but nothing really captures the "rude word minimum" feel of the American concept of PG-13, y'know?

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 247

Voting Breakdown

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 5   247
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