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Song Parodies -> "You Missed Deliveries"

Original Song Title:

"I Miss the Misery"

Original Performer:

Halestorm

Parody Song Title:

"You Missed Deliveries"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Has this ever happened to you? I hope so, otherwise I'm gonna look like a fool. More so than usual.
Oh, you missed deliveries
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Never much enjoyed the wait
Too long to get to my place
Would be just a minor pain
But what occurs is so lame
Why can't the postman dude wait?
I hate it, dude

I heard the bell ding, called out "Just wait, please!"
Two secs for cleanin' my parts, won't narrate, geez
Pulled my pants tall, made a mad haul
Towards the door, I can't miss you at all
But once I have made my way
It seems you've eluded me
The note you left really hurts
What, "We missed you"? You missed deliveries

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

I refuse to be complacent
I know it's you who's impatient (won't give me my stuff)
One ring or knock's not enough
To let me get out the buff
Or my head from what I'm doing
I hate it, dude

One solo bell ding, don't think you wait, geez
Cause you're soon leavin' and then dare to blame me
Ran down my hall, tryna not fall
No way to claim my chosen speed was "crawl"
It happens ev'ry damn day
The same shit gets pulled on me
Your note assumes I'm the jerk
Did not miss you, you missed deliveries

Not mad 'bout the extra work
You're forcin' my ass to make to get stuff to me
That's real rich since it's you who shirks
Not on a time crunch, my house comes last, you see
I researched the post route, I
Think 'bout the twentieth time
You insuff'rable jerk
Had missed delivery

Like to have things for which I've paid, please
Stuff that I'm needin' or gifts from my fam'ly
No, I'm not obsessed, do your job, pest
I'm not concealin' myself on purpose
I've been not stalled, closed doors, that's all
And still you miss my ass? Hence, I'm appalled
Can't leave it at someone's place
No-one lives that close to me
Default to ransom, that hurts
Screw that "missed you", you missed deliveries

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (cram that "missed you", you missed deliveries)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (a-yeah), oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (a-yeah)
Stop that "missed you", you missed deliveries

There are two reasons why this hasn't happened to me (yet): a) I rarely get mail in the first place and b) my room is, like, twenty seconds from the front door.

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