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Song Parodies -> "Sue"

Original Song Title:

"Cruise (Remix)"

Original Performer:

Florida Georgia Line

Parody Song Title:

"Sue"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Living The Fantasy" self-challenge. A parody about frivolous lawsuits. Enjoy!
You just broke the law (hey!)
And so I'm gonna call my lawyer up and sue-ue
(You're screwed!)

You knocked my mailbox down, gonna pick my phone up (hey!)
Call my lawyer-man up (kiss your money goodbye)
Gonna head into town, so you better suit up
Gonna lose all your bucks (ha, ha)

Yeah, you thought you'd spray-paint a rather large boner
Bet you'll regret that after I call my lawyer
I'll sue you down to the last measly cent
Break just one small rule and a lawsuit you'll get

You just broke the law
And so I'm gonna call my lawyer up and sue-ue (hey!)
Put a scratch in my Hyundai, whoopsy-doodle
Gonna make you pay for that, too-oo
Even if no-one saw you, can't do shit (hey!)
Because my lawyer doesn't know the meanin' of "aquit" (c'mon!)
Except when helpin' me
That's quite far from the point, and that point is: I'll sue-ue-ue

His arguments are sound, so you better pay up
Ev'ry single damn buck

Yeah, really pity the suckers who run into my lawyer
The more frivolous the suit is, the more he's eager
Last week some guy shoved me, stabbed him in the butt
Lawyer got that schmuck to pay to clean the blood!

Maybe broke the law
Don't matter, gonna call my lawyer up and sue-ue (hey!)
Got a speck of dirt in my eye, sue the business
Didn't fix their air con, they're scre-ewed
You might say I'm cheatin', but the fact is (hey!)
I'm livin' comfortably off what they paid in damages (c'mon!)
I say you broke the law
My speed-dial's got my lawyer and guess what, bud, I'll sue-ue-ue

Sue you for this, sue him for that
Court orders fly left and right
I look weird on my passport?
I'll sue the photo dude, right
I tell ya man, my lawyer boy
Has uber-legal skills, dude
He'll raise the bar, no sweat
No matter who's getting sued
All of the cash, won that
So far ain't gone to crap
Someone knocked off my hat
Lost all the hats he had, 'cause
You see my lawyer's got a knack for this "law" shite
So pay up, buddy, since your lawyer's quite the flawed type
Fork your cash right over, can't go against court orders

I said you broke the law
Well, at least that's what I told my, told my, told my, t-t-t-told...
Lawyer on the phone
I told him that I found another schmuck to sue-ue (hey!)
Cause I saw you pissin' on my lawn, I saw it
Can't say you weren't in town, no proo-oof
See my brand new Lambo with the spin rims? (hey!)
If it weren't for all of the lawsuits, I would have jack shit (c'mon!)
Kinda like you now
I wonder if there's anybody left to sue-ue-ue

I won that case hands down, so you better pay up
Gimme all of your bucks (I got more poor twits to sue-ue)
Lawyer's the best in town, and yours was a big putz
So you gotta pay up (I got other gits to sue-ue)
Most hated man in town, but I have all the bucks
So I don't give a fuck

I don't know how one can be "blowin' stop signs" while cruising, as "blowing" past something implies speed, while "cruising" is a more leisurely activity. In any case, not stopping at the goddamn stop signs is a far more legitimate thing to sue someone over than what the guy in the parody does.

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