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Song Parodies -> "Floss"

Original Song Title:

"BO$$"

Original Performer:

Fifth Harmony

Parody Song Title:

"Floss"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

No, not the dance, the thing where you stick string in your teeth. Some people need to do it more...or at all.
Whoo!
Whoo!

Not one stain's okay, mate
Need to start doin' more each day, 'kay (whoo!)?
Your breath is 'causin' brain pains
It could almost make paint strip away, mate (whoo!)
Say what? You don't know
What you've done wrong? Glad you asked so, bro (whoo!)
You brush your teeth? That's great, mate
But you need to go further, I'm afraid, hey (whoo!)

Your grin is lookin' awful but I'm gonna fix the problem
'Cause that's just how I was brought up, check (whoo!)
Done the brushy-brushy 'til your gums were really bloody
So you're askin' me "What the hell is next?" (whoo!)

Floss, between-tooth scrubbin' (tooth)
Get that string in and start that tooth rubbin' (whoo!)
Floss, that's mid-tooth scrubbin' (tooth)
Jam that string in and stop that plaque grubbin'
Floss, between-tooth scrubbin' (tooth)
Get that string in and start that tooth huggin' (whoo!) (tooth)
Floss, that's mid-tooth scrubbin' (tooth)
Jam that string in and stop that plaque touchin' (whoo!)

C-O-N-D-I-M-E-N-T
I see some condiments (whoo!)
Between your molars, it don't compliment
Any smile, sincere or smarmin' (whoo!)
Sssssshut your mouth
You do that too soon, dude, and that's how (whoo!)
Gross bacteria will stay
Your thoroughness is low, I will help that raise (whoo!)

You hate it when we're gawkin' but that's not gonna be stoppin'
'Cause all we can think, to sum up: ick (whoo!)
We can see the bloody pieces of leftover parsley
That your ass constantly forgets to pick (whoo!)

Floss, between-tooth scrubbin' (tooth)
Get that string in and start that hard rubbin' (oh-oh-oh-ooh-whoa) (whoo!)
Floss, that's mid-tooth scrubbin' (tooth)
Jam that string in and stop that plaque huggin' (whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh)
Floss, between-tooth scrubbin' (tooth)
Get that string in and start that gap brushin' (whoo-ooh-hoo-ooh) (whoo!) (tooth)
Floss, that's mid-tooth scrubbin' (ooh-ooh-hoo) (tooth)
Jam that string in (ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh) and stop that plaque buddin' (whoo!)

You really need this, it's a little extra work, I fear (whoo!)
Oh-ooh-whoa-oh-oh, buddy, yeah-eah-eah (whoo!)
But if you give up, then you're really gonna pay, yeah-eah (whoo!)
Yeah-eah, yeah-eah, yeah-eah (whoo!)
Uh-huh, uh-huh, hey, hey (whoo!)
Truth (uh-huh, uh-huh), da, da-d-da-d-da-da, pay fees up (hey, hey)

If you're not gonna solve it by yourself, your only option
Is to pay a really blown up (blown) check
Dentists want your money 'cause your teeth are really grubby
And you're slack, sure that you don't want this thread (uh)?

Floss, between-tooth scrubbin' (whoo-ooh-ooh) (tooth)
Get that string in and start that strong rubbin' (whoo!)
Floss (hey, hey), that's mid-tooth scrubbin' (tooth)
Jam that string in and stop that plaque squattin' (hey, hey)
Floss, between-tooth scrubbin' (tooth)
Get that string in and start that germ crushin' (hey) (whoo!) (tooth)
Floss (hey), that's mid-tooth scrubbin' (hey) (tooth)
Jam that string in and stop that plaque slummin' (whoo!)

Whoo-ooh-hoo-ooh (whoo!)
Whoo! Oh-oh-ah

Has there ever been a horror movie where the killer replaces someone's floss with razor wire? And if so, can I never watch it?

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   1
 1
 1
 

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