Under my bed, under my bed, under my bed
Under my bed, under my bed, under my bed

A zombie poodle cat is chewing up my mattress
When mommy turns off the light, pull covers over my head
A ghostly aardvark snake is lurking in my basement
My sister drew it a map, leading it under my bed

If I misbehave
Dad shoves me under my bed
Stuck with the undead
Monsters live

Under my bed, under my bed, under my bed
Under my bed, under my bed, under my bed
A mutant weasel nest in the floorboards
Under my bed, under my bed, under my bed
Under my bed
Under my bed

Reach in find thirty hair ties, forty seven dog bones
My cell phone, wallet, and car keys that I lost sometime last week
There’s Uncle Jerry, he’s been missing since the eighties.
The misplaced lyrics for my new song I forgot to submit

“Baby, where’s the remote?”
“Did you check under my bed?”
What’s under my bed?
So much junk…

Under my bed, under my bed, under my bed
Under my bed, under my bed, under my bed
Fifty-nine socks, none match, and they’re not mine
Under my bed, under my bed, under my bed
Under my bed
Under my bed

So tranquil (peaceful)
Hiding from my kids, while they are screaming (scheming)
Fleeing from the cat growling and hissing (prissy)
When it’s time to clean around the house
I think I will crawl

Under my bed, under my bed, under my bed
Under my bed, under my bed, under my bed
Which side is mine? The top or the bottom?
Under my bed, under my bed, under my bed

Under my bed, under my bed, under my bed
Under my bed, under my bed, under my bed
A late night snack, pizza from the sixties
Under my bed, under my bed, under my bed
Ew, under my bed
Under my bed
Yum, under my bed