Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, look, look

Tryin' to claim you've been tryin' but my patience has been expirin'
Lucky that this ain't a job because your ass is one that's worth firin'
Ev'ry time that it's your turn, even though you just take the same Action
You're always askin' which dice you should roll for the greatsword you're slashin'
What the hell, dude? You should know by now which of your damn dice you're rollin' 'round
I'd get it if we were level 2, we're close to max, I'm not kiddin' now
Not like you're switchin' your weapons, man, you pick the same friggin' sword each round
I'm glad you think that it's funny, wait, no, that's a lie, got the biggest frown
Whole table's sharin' the biggest frown, we've only got so much time here to beat the Tarrasque
And since you botched your initiative so your turn's fourth, you can't just sit there on your ass
Session's been months in the makin', poured over our stat sheets, we know our stuff backwards and forwards
Don't get to be the exception, you've always been tellin' us fighters aren't all complete morons, so show it

Victory's in the air tonight, I can tell
Our whole campaign's at the climax and that's swell
Been ready for real, I'm not sure about you
'Cause it seems that you're a dunce and it hurts when we hear that tune:
"Hang on, what do I roll for damage? What do I roll for damage?
What do I roll for damage? What do I roll for damage?"
Sometimes I do feel that you're jokin', it's true
Pick the damn d6s up and remember that's all you use

This is a maddenin' habit, I wish I knew just where you grabbed it
You didn't pull off this bullshit last campaign when you dealt in magic
Had so many spells to keep track of, especially since you loved grabbin'
As many spell scrolls as your spell book could handle which is "all the magic", it's true
And yet no problems with all the mechanics that all those spells gave you
Dice always so diff'rent, upcast higher levels, to you that was simple
Just one more reason I have a beef with how your brain somehow has a beef
With keepin' track of which damn dice to roll, swear that I'm gonna slap your teeth
Ev'ryone here wants to slap your teeth, even the dude who's a monk who's brand new to his role
Never played Dungeons and Dragons or anything close but he clicked to what dice he should roll
And his kept scalin' with level, you only changed weapons to boost the to-hit bonus number
Of all of our dumb runnin' gags, it was funny for barely two seconds before "we should punch him" thoughts, know it

Revelry's in the air tonight, I can tell
Hope that you can join in with that, would be swell
But what is the deal with your memory, dude?
Feels like you get blackout drunk once your turn is done, same old tune
"Hang on, what do I roll for damage? What do I roll for damage?
What do I roll for damage? What do I roll for damage?"
It can't be for real, a weird blank spot, it's true
If the next campaign, we're stuck with the same schtick, gonna kill you

Mate, just explain to us
How's it not easy?
Two dice, six sides (good Lord), roll nice
Each time, same dice (good Lord), that's right
Waste time to whine (good Lord) each time
Ain't right that your mind (good Lord) can't get it
It's a basic roll, so simple (good Lord), get with it
Super basic roll, so simple (good Lord), get with it
Ain't no complex roll, so simple (good Lord), get with it
How can you be so incredulous when we start swearin' and screamin' in your face? I really don't know it