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Song Parodies -> "Cigarettes"

Original Song Title:

"I'm Upset"

Original Performer:

Drake

Parody Song Title:

"Cigarettes"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Stop leaving your butts on the ground!
Yeah
When walkin', keep findin'

Cigarettes
Near a thousand, last I checked, just in one stretch
Friggin' litterbugs, the worst kind, I detest
Just the standard jerks who dump their packs of chips?
Better than those who throw away their cigs, what dicks

Dumpin' all their butts on the floor
It's a habit that I just abhor
Pretty sure that ev'ryone I know
All equal agreement: those dudes blow
And they suck
Focused on what's in their lips and fingertips and not
What they're gonna do when they're over, finito, done
Council put the proper bins on ev'ry single block (block, block, block)
Yet I've found
Smokers must have the most lit'ral garbage aim around
Or the other choice is they plain don't care about how
They deal with what's left of their cigarettes (shit, shit)

"They don't care about their health, you can't expect (can't expect)
Them to give a rat's behind about the rest
Of us, they're pricks"
Problem, I find: could care 'bout their health but then
They're addicts
Write 'em off that way? That's disrespect
But the rest of your little screed is accurate
It's actin' a douche to take your issues and then spread (spread, spread, spread, spread)
Them, infect ev'ry kid
That might walk behind you and miss that second-hand shit (grr)
Contain your pollution to around your mouth and neck (grr)
Properly dispose the ends, don't flick 'em like a dick

Wonder if they're all on a roll
Not just as a habit, that's still cold (still quite cold)
But also that they decide to throw
Their butts right out of their car window (ayy, ayy)
With no thought
That it could fly into someone's mouth and thus their lungs (lungs)
Or into their eyeball, that shit would still be quite hot
Don't they know how to dispose of cigarettes (shit, shit)?

Sick of tellin' people that I'm not depressed, yeah
There's a reason for my constant down-turned head, yeah
It's to make sure no more cigarette butts wedge
Themselves into my fav'rite sneaker treads (grr)
I detest them, I'm pissed (pissed, pissed)
Always the worst places they could rest (rest)
In front of the hospital? I mean, what kind of prick
Chooses there to dump their cigarettes? What a dick (dick, dick, dick)

God, another one on the floor
I lost count near one thousand and four (was it four?)
Pity that I've got places to go (need to go)
Got no time to pick 'em up, that blows

Seriously, the fact that the outside of hospitals are the smokiest areas I've ever smelled is one of the few things that can legitimately piss me off. Does this mean I can get illegitimately pissed off? Why yes, it's called "failing at a video game".

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