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Song Parodies -> "Blackstone"

Original Song Title:

"Blackstar"

Original Performer:

David Bowie

Parody Song Title:

"Blackstone"

Parody Written by:

Arch Vile

The Lyrics

You are not seeing things folks. I have dared to challenge myself to parody a long 10 minute song. As such, I tried to use a long movie as the subject: 2001: A Space Odyssey. I have not seen anybody else on this website tackle this song for any parody. It only took me a 3-4 hours, (even taking in breaks) to write this. Voting on this song would be appreciated.
(Verse 1)
In the primitives Canyon
In the primitives Canyon
Stands a mystery monument
ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, ahhh
Must have come from outer space
Must have come from outer space
It sees

At the time of confrontation
At the time of confrontation
Only evolved come to win
ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, ahhh

Must have come from outer space
Must have come from outer space
We learn
We learn

Ahhhh, ahhhh, ahhhh
(Saxaphone Solo)(transition to future time of satellites in orbit)
Ahhhh, ahhhh, ahhhh

(Verse 2)
In a deep Lunar crater
In a deep Lunar crater
Stands a mystery monument
Ahhhh, ahhhh, ahhhh, ahhhh
Trying to keep the secret
Trying to keep the secret
It speaks
It speaks
Ahhhh, ahhhh, ahhhh
(Instrumental solo and musical transition)

(Verse 3) (oooooh, ooooooh, oooooh, eerie sounds, etc)
Something happened with the message sent
Dis-cov-ery was built and money spent
The crew was so small and, outer space they went
For the Blackstone
For the Blackstone

(Dave Bowman)
For what it’s worth, can we trust this HAL?
Does this series ever fail, emotional pal?
He controls this whole ship
Making this an unsafe trip
For the Blackstone
For the Blackstone
Cause we’re not alone

(HAL-9000)
Can’t really explain (For the Blackstone)
My algorithms (Don’t have one bone)
Want to play me chess (For the Blackstone)
Wake up all sleeping crew (I’m not a white stone)
Make the mission go through (For the Blackstone)
Fix the radar tower (I’m not a precious stone)
My AI power
For the Blackstone

(Verse 4)
(Any Monolith)
I’m a Blackstone, way out, in space, where I can sway
What is day or night, time does not go away
With knowledge I can pass along, stars in my insides
I’m a Blackstone
I’m a Blackstone

Something happened when I lost Frank Poole
HAL had made me run right out like a fool
Didn’t open pod bay doors, that wasn’t cool
For the Blackstone
I’m a smooth stone
For the Blackstone

(Verse 5)
(Dave Bowman / Monolith)
Had no time to cry (Cause we’re not alone)
Emergency bolts blow (I’m not a jade stone)
Turned HAL off for own good (I’m a smooth stone)
Floyd’s mission as it should (I’m not a white stone)
I’m a Blackstone (ooooh, oooooh, oooooh)
Cause we’re not alone
I’m a Blackstone
I’m a Blackstone (oooooh, oooooh, oooooh)
Not a crystal stone
I’m not a human world stone (ooooh, oooooh, oooooh)
I’m a Blackstone
I’m a Blackstone

(Final Verse)
Around Jupiter’s orbit
Floats a mystery monument
Ahhhh, ahhhh, ahhhh, ahhhh
With the planets in their place
It knows

At the star gate open junction
Well my God It’s full of stars
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, ahhh
From my passing human life
Star Child
Star Child
Ahhhh, ahhh, ahhh
(Instrumental Outro)
This was an odyssey it itself to try to hit the main plot points from the movie and tie them to the song.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   2
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

2Eagle - January 14, 2019 - Report this comment
HAL begat AT&T.
Arch Vile - January 15, 2019 - Report this comment
You know I just realized the weird connection. Dave Bowman from movie. David Bowie the artist. Album is called Black Star. Movie is focused on Black monolith. And on goes the tin foil metal fedora.
Agrimorfee - January 15, 2019 - Report this comment
@2Eagle, but we all know IBM begat HAL (::)). Nice job, Arch, very poetic. The intertextual connections between Bowie and outer space have been there throughout his career of course...and what a way to end it, with the WEIRDEST tune he ever did (with a very disturbing video if one cares to seek it out).
Arch Vile - January 18, 2019 - Report this comment
After looking over this song, I think I could have changed some of the "For the Blackstone" lines to "To the Unknown". The Discovery crew did not know anything about the monolith in space until they got there. Still proud if it though.

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