Sometimes noses are noble, sometimes they're pretty and sweet
To say mine's big is an understatement, quite unfortunately
Always in my vision, though my eyes aren't crossed
This unwieldy thing gets the kind of attention I don't want

Whenever my head's turnin', my nose, it lags behind
And when I get a cold, well, it's not a pretty sight
I've had it stuck in doors at times, that's bollocks
But that ain't the worst bit, it's the people who wanna be an arsehole
(Arsehole, areshole, areshole...)

(Jerks, jerks, jerks, jerks)
Jerks, jerks, jerks hate on my big nose
Callin' me The Penguin from across the road
Jerks, jerks, jerks hate on my big nose
They want me to know it, never le-le-le-le-let it go
What a-holes, I just take it, won't feed those trolls
All them jerks, jerks, jerks who hate on my nose
Make fun of my gigantic schnozzle

Some jerks are haughty, all jerks are mean
That's not a profound statement, but what do you want from me
Whether I am shopping, or I'm at the beach
These a-holes chase me with peanuts and throwing them at me

My conk's a bit ungainly, that I will not deny
A crumplezone on my face, and when I sneeze I fly
Of all the people 'round here, I'm singled out
Just cuz of my hooter, I'm, like, do they get off on being arseholes?
(Arsehole, areshole, areshole...)

(Jerks, jerks, jerks, jerks)
Jerks, jerks, jerks hate on my big nose
Calling me The Elephant Man, what prose
Jerks, jerks, jerks hate on my big nose
Never gonna drop it, they won't le-le-le-le-let it go
What a-holes, wonder what's next? Pinocchio?
All them jerks, jerks, jerks who hate on my nose
Poke fun, poke fun, poke fun, poke fun, poke fun, poke fun
At my enormous schnozzle

Usually people just stop and stare
Lookin' at my nose that's sticking out there
Not blaming them, I can be fair
But it's all the stupid jerks that stop and jeer
Yes, my nose looks odd, I couldn't care less
When my hands are full, it turns on switches
I could go Holmes, picking up scents
Used to these morons calling me "Elephant"

Jerks, jerks, jerks hate on my big nose
If they were well-read they'd call my Cyrano
Jerks, jerks, jerks hate on my big nose
Never gonna drop it, they won't le-le-le-le-let it go
What a-holes, I can take it, they're all just schmoes
All them jerks, jerks, jerks who hate on my nose
I'm proud of my gigantic schnozzle